18 comments

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  laurie_matthews

  7 months ago

  My great-grandmother Pearl. There are very few days that go by that I don't think of her, but I'm especially reminded of her presence when leaves fall from the sky and drift towards me.
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  Linda Borland-Fitzgerald

  7 months ago

  Carrie,
  I am sending up a prayer for your brother on this Remembrance Day...
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  Linda Borland-Fitzgerald

  7 months ago

  My Mother... she came to the planet to serve and did so from a very early age. She served everyone, never getting to know who she really was. Before she died we talked about that. I asked her what she would have been had she'd been allowed the opportunity. Her reply was, 'A dancer.' Once, as a young girl she was asked to fill in for someone at a dance recital. She had no experience but she was the right size for the costume of the 'Blue Fairy.' Life was not very kind to my mother, but she never forgot that experience. After she died I began to see 'blue fairies' everywhere. I collected a few tiny figurines and ethereal pictures of the creatures and created a montage which sits on a shelf beside my bed - a tribute to my mother who once danced across a lighted stage as 'The Blue Fairy.'
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  Gaile Guevara

  7 months ago

  hmm, what a perfect article post ... it's amazing how today I can share the experience of being thankful ... I am thankful to have have had the opportunity to have lived my childhood with an amazing lady - my grandmother. I tribute the gift of understanding forgiveness to my grandmother ... she helped me through moments in my life that changed me and make me who I am today. She was an amazing lady a widow at 35 who raised 6 children, to later immigrate to Canada only to help my mom raise us. I admired her strength of working hard at any job to help send money to support family in the Philippines in addition to helping raise my sister and I.
  When we were little, despite how scared I was of her and jealous that my little sister could do no wrong ... she showed me strength. Im so thankful that I had the opportunity of sharing the moments in my life that changed me
  
  At 8 years old, she opened up her arms to me when I felt so alone, she was the one I shared for the first time my secret of years being abused by my uncle. 14 years later, my grandmother passed away, it was at her funeral when my duty as the oldest grand daughter was to speak on behalf of relatives who could not be there ... I remember struggling to reading through speeches ... it was in that moment where her life long journey and love helped me understand for the first time what forgiveness was as I looked out into the crowd that filled the church and saw my uncle's face for the first time in 14 years after disclosing the abuse
  I felt her spirit and energy, her life path and purpose helped me turn a new page in my life
  ... it's an amazing moment in my life to be thankful for knowing someone so amazing and to have the honor of sharing my experience and life lessons with those who can benefit from making time to appreciate the special people in their lives ... remembrance is living each day to it's fullest lesson
  
  thank you for reminding me of the special people who helped me get to where I am today
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  Chantal

  7 months ago

  My grandmother. She raised me, became my rock and taught me her ancient wisdom. During the end of her life it became my turn to take care of her. I am so very grateful to have had the opportunity to experience death first hand. I always imagined it to be like some horror film but it was very beautiful and peaceful. She is still very much alive because she is inside of me, a part of me that will never die. And she visits in my dreams.
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  Jess

  7 months ago

  I think of my grandfather, who even though he was not the nicest man in his life, he served his country well as a spy.
  I think of my grandpa Henry, who served our family through his sense of humour, his impeccable style and his unconditional love for my grandma - how happy he made her. "Grandpa Henry-isms" are now traditions in my family.
  
  Lest we forget.
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  lucy

  7 months ago

  My Uncle - who I never even met. He was killed in action in 1943 flying over France. He was our "family hero." What I learned from him (I have a lot of his letters and some of his writing) and stories about him is the importance of honor - to choose to do the right thing even when it's not the easy thing. I've learned it's important to cherish your family - the ones related to you by blood and by love. I've learned not to waste my time - and that stopping to see and hear and appreciate what's around me is NOT wasteful. I've learned to be very angry about the futility and waste of war and very respectful of those who are willing to put their physical, emotional, and spiritual lives in harm's way for what they perceive to be a greater good. I miss this man I never met - and the children and grandchildren he never had. God bless Uncle Johnny!
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  colette

  7 months ago

  My grandmother Evelyn. She was angel even before she left this world. Her words to me have literally kept me moving forward in my life. She stil serves me with little things. My grandfather passed away this summer and as I was going through the file cabinet that as theirs and now mine, I found one of my grandmother's all occasion cards she kept handy. This one says "Thinking of you and wishing you well" on the outside; "You're often on my mind, especially when I know you're not feeling well... Please take care, and feel better soon" on the inside. The envelope is pink, the card is pink, I love pink! Two nights ago, as I lay in bed I suddenly could smell the scent of Dove soap - the pink colored bar, the one my grandmother used.
  
  I also get to recognize my father and two sons who are Veterans and served to keep me free from tyrrany and terrorists.
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  MoJo

  7 months ago

  This is so interesting - how so many of the posts relate to experiences with death, or those who are dead. One of my closest friends died a few years ago at the age of 39. I had the honour of being with him for the last couple of months - including daily shifts providing at-home care right up until the moment he died. The painful gap in my life left by his death was filled with moments of gut wrenching grief - but also with a sense of peace, and tremendous gratitude for being able to share and witness one of the most magical and intimate journeys - his death. He brought so much to life and left so much more in death. I was forever changed by this and not a week goes by that I don't give thanks and send my love to him...
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  Daniel Gibbons

  7 months ago

  My grandfather. Like many from his generation, he served during the Second World War (in the RAF). He was a great father to his children, and truly believed in the value of education and its equal importance to his sons and daughters. As a grandfather he was an utterly consistent role model, who managed somehow to seem as though he devoted 100% of his attention to each of his 15 grandchildren.
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  Ellen

  7 months ago

  The "boyfriend" who broke my ribs. That act of violence turned my life around - changed everything. I remember him as being sick, abusive, and personality-disordered, but I am also grateful that something finally knocked sense into me. literally.
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  Pema

  7 months ago

  My step mom. It's her birthday today. We rarely got along, and still have fewer moments of peace together than unrest. But the fact is she raised me when my own mother would not. She loved me alongside 5 other kids in a suddenly-super-sized step-family. And she took care of everyone else's kids too, in at-home daycare to bring in a little money. She taught me charity, one of the profoundest things in my life. I think of her when I am inspired to give.
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  alligator_kate

  7 months ago

  My grandfather, who was a WWII vet, incidentally, though what he meant to me was a big overflowing heart, and a solid rock in a very tumultuous childhood. He was a gentle soul, a teacher, who was adored instinctively by animals, children, and lost souls. He lived through two world wars (he was English) and his spirit seems to be with me especially when life around me feels bleak, like after 9/11/01 here in NYC or in the wake of Katrina. His memory always gives me strength. He wore a bow tie every day, and I have his tie collection. I have been trying to think of a way to display them, or make them into art, but in the meantime I have a little ancestor shrine and his picture is in it, along with two of his bow ties.
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  K.

  7 months ago

  A recent favorite professor of mine passed away recently. Charismatic, funny, demanding and passionate about our shared subject matter (filmmaking), I will always remember how he held us to such high integrity because of his deep belief in our talent and potential.
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  Mackenzie

  7 months ago

  My Great Uncle Lloyd passed away this past September and is the greatest. example of strength, courage and love that I have ever known in my life. When I saw this morning’s C&D question, I didn’t even think of my answer because it was there before I had a chance to. Uncle took the place of the Grandfathers my siblings and I had never had the chance to meet. As a lifelong bachelor, he devoted his life to babysitting us, taking us on bike rides, teaching us jokes from ‘the Prairies’ and spoiling us with all of the homemade treats he could. I never thought about him passing away because he was just always there. He was an amazingly determined, stubborn and independent man whose life goal, whether he knew it or not, was to help others and receive help from nobody At 85, he painted the entire exterior of his house; just himself and a ladder from 1963. He knew every neighbor on his street from 1950 to 2008 and gave free tips on how to cut your lawn like a bowling green. He made the best borscht in town and would never teach us the recipe because there simply wasn’t one. He would never say the word ‘goodbye’ and would always end a phone conversation or a visit with ‘hello’; I guess he didn’t like it when things ended.
  
  Uncle told us about the cancer about 3 months after he knew because he did not want us to worry or fuss over him. He refused to go to the hospital or receive cancer treatment as we knew he would. As frustrated as we were by this, we had no idea that this would be the most important gift that Uncle would ever give our family. For two months, we cared for Uncle in his home as he rapidly deteriorated. I cannot even imagine the pain and discomfort he experienced, but he never complained once. At first, he would not let my sister, mother and I see him because he felt like less of man now that people had to help him. This tore me to shreds. We came to his house everyday and sat in the family room knowing that he liked knowing we were there. We rotated to ensure that someone was there every hour of the day and held family dinners at his house every night. Even though he couldn’t see us, we knew that he loved hearing us talking, cooking and even just watching TV. He did not want to be alone. When Uncle finally let my Mom, sister and I see him, he welcomed us with a huge smile and open arms. He let us rub his feet because they were getting cold due to increasing circulation problems. He thought it was hilarious that my brother had to bathe him and change him because now the roles had been reversed. He let us help him roll over and squeezed our hands with strength that a man of his feeble weight should not possibly have. Uncle passed away in his family room with our family at his bedside until he took his last breath. I would not trade this moment for anything. Uncle had given my family the greatest gift that we will ever receive. He had finally let us give back to him and be with him during the most difficult time in his life. He gave my brother and I the gift of a better relationship. He gave my family the most precious moments of time we have ever spent together. Today, and every day, I remember my Uncle Lloyd. He was one of the greatest people I have ever met and will ever meet. Thank you C&D for asking this question and for the gift of sharing this with others.
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  marn

  7 months ago

  Beautiful.
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  Cupcake Murphy

  7 months ago

  My dad. He lived his life in a state of service and gratitude. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of his incredible sense of caring and humility. In the last weeks of his life, when he was so sick, he still took care of me in the only ways he could, making sure I had enough light to read the paper by when I would come and just sit with him. "I've gotta get a bigger lamp for you, babe!" he'd shout and then lean over as far as he could so he could grab hold of the lampshade and tilt it toward me--with a big concerned grin on his face. "Is that better??" he'd ask. That was him. Always looking out for others, inquiring about how they were doing. One of my favorite quotes from Pema Chodron is something she shared at a retreat and I believe Chogyam Trumpa said it to her: "It's not that we set out to change the world. It's just that we start to wonder how other people are doing. And how our actions impact their hearts." That is my dear dad in a nutshell and I try every day to create my life in a way that honors his memory.
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  Constance

  7 months ago

  My grandpa served in WWI as an Italian immigrant and a very young man. He became a citizen and survived for another 50 years. His daughter, my aunt, served in the European theatre during WWII as an Army nurse; she survived and was a wonderful role model to me and her daughter. My brother and boyfriend served in Vietnam in the mid and late 60's; they each suffered greatly but survived. My son has served in Iraq during the surge and is back stateside and is currently a captain . I remember each of them especially today and am filled with gratitude and awe. I also pray there is now an end to anyone in my family ever having a war to fight. Ashe.
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