Carrie and Danielle - Latest Comments in What would you like to change about the holiday season?

Re: What would you like to change about the holiday season?

Rick_Juliusson — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 11:10:01 -0000

Thanks for your openness to my rather indelicately-worded challenge. Any or all of your 3 propositions here sound very fair to feel. Our family still struggles with the best ways to present our values and "rules" to our families and community, and I know we don't always succeed in making it a positive experience for them or for us.

Re: What would you like to change about the holiday season?

Cobby — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 02:00:34 -0000

You have a good point. Maybe my issue has more to do with feeling like it was disrespectful of her to wait until so close to the holidays to broach the topic. Maybe it has more to do with feeling like her behavior is passive-aggressive. Maybe I am more upset that her approach to philanthropy seems to be a once a year thing, when I see it as a year-round effort. I don't know, but I'm just going to try to let it go.

Re: What would you like to change about the holiday season?

Rick_Juliusson — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 14:36:08 -0000

I've often offended my family with the same "no-gifts" request, or tight restrictions on the types of gifts allowable for our children. But I'd rather offend them at that time than offend them even further (and waste their money and energy and environmental costs) by just taking their gift to the thrift shop afterwards. If your mother-in-law truly does not want more stuff, than how does giving her more stuff show any respect for her desires and sources of happiness?

Re: What would you like to change about the holiday season?

Ellen — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 11:45:16 -0000

This year I have seen many changes for the better, in my opinion, even if they reflect the sagging economy instead of heightened spirituality...Christmas catalogs in November instead of August....fewer gaudy decorations, etc.

This year I am celebrating the holiday with a month of reflection and spiritual focus. I am bringing the light into myself and sharing it with the rest of the world. I have a small nagging regret that I can't buy a gift for my Sweetheart (last year I gave him a laptop) but those gifts don't bring fulfillment past a momentary rush. Each day this holiday season I devote some time to thoroughly cleaning one small corner of the house. Those small corners add up to one clean, comfortable home!

Re: What would you like to change about the holiday season?

Cobby — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 02:05:45 -0000

I would like to ban the big corporate Christmas Party. Instead of spending lots of money on a downtown hotel, band, food, liquor and other little crappy party perks. I would prefer that we do a casual catered lunch together and maybe spend the afternoon volunteering as a company together.

I also had a new experience this year that I would like to ban. My mother-in-law sent me an e-mail yesterday telling me that they do not want more "stuff" to "dust and keep up with" and that she wanted us to donate to our favorite charity in their name. Well, that would be all good and fine if I hadn't planned ahead and bought her two nice thoughtful presents at the beginning of November (the sales of which happen to benefit my favorite non-profit). I suppose I could give them to another family member who would appreciate them. I know I'm probably being overly touchy, but I was actually offended. So I want to ban people from telling other people to not buy them gifts. To each his or her own.

Re: What would you like to change about the holiday season?

Alison — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 23:49:19 -0000

Exactly what I'd like to change about the world. People's minds.

Re: What would you like to change about the holiday season?

Traci — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 18:38:31 -0000

You're right. And this is exactly what I've always hated about Valentine's Day. Why on Earth do we need a designated day to tell our loved ones that we love them? Ridiculous.

Re: What would you like to change about the holiday season?

Elwyne — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 18:34:38 -0000

I would have people be less concerned with what they "should" do or what's expected of them, and just do what brings joy.

Re: What would you like to change about the holiday season?

Natasha_L — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 18:23:38 -0000

Defintely no carols before the 1st. Restoration Hardward had carols playing before Oct 31st this year! I'd like to see people get more creative with everything from meals to gifts to decorating. And it would be cool if we could focus more on creating a holiday for ourselves instead of reiterating how "commercial" the holidays can be - business is business, the holidays are what you make them.

Re: What would you like to change about the holiday season?

Daniel Gibbons — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 17:48:38 -0000

I'd like it if the festive spirit was, well, non-alcoholic. It's really upsetting that people see the holidays as an excuse to get drunk all day every day.

Re: What would you like to change about the holiday season?

Lori_from_Texas — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 17:36:51 -0000

What I see in the holiday season is over the top crazy activity that is a counterfeit and subsititute for what people really desire and need. All of the craziness leaves us empty and unsatisfied, not to mention tired! I would love to see people return to the spiritual roots of their celebrations...whatever faith or culture they are embracing. Reconnecting to our roots would allow parties, cooking, gifts, and decorating to come alive as genuine expressions of joy, faith, generosity, and love.

Re: What would you like to change about the holiday season?

missp — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 16:52:21 -0000

people are starving, homeless and in trouble 364 days of the year, so what I would like to change is the concept of giving only around this time of the year. I understand that the sentimentality of the season helps bring out the extra giving, but yet, i want to see it and do it all the other days of the year.

Re: What would you like to change about the holiday season?

Mary B — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 16:46:59 -0000

Absolutely!

If there were just the time frame where it makes sense to anticipate what is supposed to be a season of hope, cheer, and love, the frantic and stressed faces would start to disappear.

Sorry to those in the bizz, but it really isn't all about retail.

Re: What would you like to change about the holiday season?

Linda Fitzgerald — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 15:21:06 -0000

Well, after reading all of the entries, everyone seems to agree that it's definitely become way too commercial. I find myself resenting the gift thing more and more - well not getting and giving gifts per se, but having to go into some debt to do it. We've really economized this year, but I could do more.

Now, what I don't like is that the stores start right after Halloween. I do not want to hear Christmas carols or see the decorations until early December. That's how it used to be and the anticipation was glorious. I have so many fabulous memories from my childhood Christmases that I had to pass them onto my own daughter, and we will continue that when she has children. Meanwhile, we need to find the true meaning of the holiday, all year long.

Re: What would you like to change about the holiday season?

Linda Fitzgerald — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 15:14:18 -0000

Here's a thought... would it sit well with you, to auction that expensive gift on E-Bay and then donate the money to something you do believe in? If she found out, you have an excellent intention. If she doesn't understand then it really doesn't matter does it?

Re: What would you like to change about the holiday season?

Uncle Beefy — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 15:09:46 -0000

I don't know if it is the economy, or "my" economy, but I am thinking MUCH more simply this year. Carrie...I agree! I miss the days of all the happy anticipation for the unveiling of the holiday season after the American Thanksgiving. Now it's 24-7...like knowing what the gift is before you've unwrapped it. Disappointing. And, Danielle...I hear ya'. Even brown paper tied with baker's twine is lovely and charming. Or, yes, experiences. I got a trip to Paris a couple Christmases ago and, believe me I didn't miss the paper!!!

Anyway, I'm all about handmade now. So simple, charming, thoughtful. More in the spirit of things I think. I did this with my partner a few years ago. ONLY give what you make...one of the best gift-giving sessions...EVER! (Okay...excluding the Paris trip.)

Simplify, simplify, simplify. (Or try to, anyway.) :)

Re: What would you like to change about the holiday season?

Rebecca Gaffney — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 14:47:32 -0000

The notions of "have to," "must," and "obligation." This year, I want to take time to wish others well by making a phone call (stepping away from the computer...) or spending time in person with loved ones.

Re: What would you like to change about the holiday season?

DanielleLaPorte — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 14:03:59 -0000

love love love it.

Re: What would you like to change about the holiday season?

Rick_Juliusson — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 13:51:48 -0000

Corporate Christmas. The elements that have become external - Coca-cola's Santa Clause, shopping, tv special shows... - have overshadowed the celebration and sacredness in our hearts and homes. Let's take back this energy and create our own traditions and ways to celebrate; ways that focus on our own values and sources of Joy. Like everything that Kate suggests in the preceding comment.

Re: What would you like to change about the holiday season?

alligator_kate — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 13:31:05 -0000

Absolute agreement about charity. I am sure that your mother's friend doesn't want you to feel bad. In my experience, people like that in my life are really craving appreciation. A heartfelt thank-you note might be all she wants.

Re: What would you like to change about the holiday season?

alligator_kate — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 13:26:31 -0000

Almost everything. We all long for simpler, more authentic holidays. A fire, some family or friends.
This is the darkest time of the year in the Western hemisphere, and we all long to wrap ourselves in love and warmth. I wish that everyone would make just one gift to share, or give the gift of time, which is so precious. Keep buying to a minimum, and buy local when at all possible. Simple food, simple gatherings, not elaborate events. Take time out to listen to a good story, sip some cider, snuggle, laugh, and just be with each other. Then there would be more time to look around and notice which neighbors need cheer.

Re: What would you like to change about the holiday season?

Traci — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 13:11:53 -0000

One word: STUFF.

Re: What would you like to change about the holiday season?

Traci — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 13:11:08 -0000

Well done, Kristen!

Re: What would you like to change about the holiday season?

Gail Larsen — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 11:27:35 -0000

Parties with loud music that makes conversation almost impossible! Except in the ladies room. Next time I'll stand just inside the men's room and explain my presence.

Re: What would you like to change about the holiday season?

Kellye — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 11:03:03 -0000

Good for you. :)