DISQUS

pearl_mattenson · 1 year ago

The idea that you have to exchange tangible gifts to give and receive. Thanks to Keris for her great post yesterday...http://carrieanddanielle.com/the-less-you-get-the-more-you-appreciate-christmas/

JulieG · 1 year ago

I'd like to change the idea that you *must* give gifts. I'm Jewish, and my family hasn't done present exchanges since the grandchildren (ie: me and my cousins) were kids. Frankly, I think we're all a lot calmer and happier. As I look around at my Christian friends madly trying to finish buying the gifts on their list, I'm happily biding my time and waiting until the deep discounts of January. (Seriously... check out any clothing store in January and you'll see things for 75-90% off.)

Really, the presents aren't important. It's the spending time with loved ones that's what the holidays are about.

Xai Vicente Charles · 1 year ago

I would love to see folks stop using artificial trees in their homes. They are not biodegradable and really harm our environment. I would also like to see all the madness with shopping stop. Especially the parents who take their children shopping for their own toys. We should be concentrating on giving meaninful gifts. We should encourage charity not "stuff".

Kellye · 1 year ago

I can't stand the gift-giving craze. Every year a certain person buys me a very expensive gift; this person is not a member of my family or even a close friend, but a friend of my mother's. I appreciate her generosity but I understand the gift for what it is - a display of wealth. She has no idea how badly it makes me feel every year when I cannot afford to gift her back something of the same value...anything I give her seems tawdry and cheap in comparison...

I too think charity should be encouraged over consumerism. Which is a kid more likely to remember as an adult - the Christmas where he got yet *another* Xbox game that he played for two weeks and tossed aside...or the one where his entire family (grandparents and all) worked at a soup kitchen/animal shelter/orphanage spreading cheer and good will to all creatures great and small? Which is the story you think he's going to tell *his* kids?

That's what Christmas should be about...

alligator_kate · 1 year ago

Absolute agreement about charity. I am sure that your mother's friend doesn't want you to feel bad. In my experience, people like that in my life are really craving appreciation. A heartfelt thank-you note might be all she wants.

Linda Borland-Fitzgerald · 1 year ago

Here's a thought... would it sit well with you, to auction that expensive gift on E-Bay and then donate the money to something you do believe in? If she found out, you have an excellent intention. If she doesn't understand then it really doesn't matter does it?

Kristen · 1 year ago

I have already begun! The best start to the season was when my 3 boys brought home lists of 3 families in need and we went out to Christmas shop for them. From groceries to toys, their excitement was wonderful...to watch them carefully choose a gift for a little boy or girl their ages ....well, let's just say, THAT"S what its all about.

Kellye · 1 year ago

Good for you. :)

Traci · 1 year ago

Well done, Kristen!

DanielleLaPorte · 1 year ago

love love love it.

Gail Larsen · 1 year ago

Parties with loud music that makes conversation almost impossible! Except in the ladies room. Next time I'll stand just inside the men's room and explain my presence.

laurie_matthews · 1 year ago

I want to get married and have children so I can share the holidays with my own family.

Traci · 1 year ago

One word: STUFF.

alligator_kate · 1 year ago

Almost everything. We all long for simpler, more authentic holidays. A fire, some family or friends.
This is the darkest time of the year in the Western hemisphere, and we all long to wrap ourselves in love and warmth. I wish that everyone would make just one gift to share, or give the gift of time, which is so precious. Keep buying to a minimum, and buy local when at all possible. Simple food, simple gatherings, not elaborate events. Take time out to listen to a good story, sip some cider, snuggle, laugh, and just be with each other. Then there would be more time to look around and notice which neighbors need cheer.

Rick_Juliusson · 1 year ago

Corporate Christmas. The elements that have become external - Coca-cola's Santa Clause, shopping, tv special shows... - have overshadowed the celebration and sacredness in our hearts and homes. Let's take back this energy and create our own traditions and ways to celebrate; ways that focus on our own values and sources of Joy. Like everything that Kate suggests in the preceding comment.

Rebecca Gaffney · 1 year ago

The notions of "have to," "must," and "obligation." This year, I want to take time to wish others well by making a phone call (stepping away from the computer...) or spending time in person with loved ones.

Uncle Beefy · 1 year ago

I don't know if it is the economy, or "my" economy, but I am thinking MUCH more simply this year. Carrie...I agree! I miss the days of all the happy anticipation for the unveiling of the holiday season after the American Thanksgiving. Now it's 24-7...like knowing what the gift is before you've unwrapped it. Disappointing. And, Danielle...I hear ya'. Even brown paper tied with baker's twine is lovely and charming. Or, yes, experiences. I got a trip to Paris a couple Christmases ago and, believe me I didn't miss the paper!!!

Anyway, I'm all about handmade now. So simple, charming, thoughtful. More in the spirit of things I think. I did this with my partner a few years ago. ONLY give what you make...one of the best gift-giving sessions...EVER! (Okay...excluding the Paris trip.)

Simplify, simplify, simplify. (Or try to, anyway.) :)

Linda Borland-Fitzgerald · 1 year ago

Well, after reading all of the entries, everyone seems to agree that it's definitely become way too commercial. I find myself resenting the gift thing more and more - well not getting and giving gifts per se, but having to go into some debt to do it. We've really economized this year, but I could do more.

Now, what I don't like is that the stores start right after Halloween. I do not want to hear Christmas carols or see the decorations until early December. That's how it used to be and the anticipation was glorious. I have so many fabulous memories from my childhood Christmases that I had to pass them onto my own daughter, and we will continue that when she has children. Meanwhile, we need to find the true meaning of the holiday, all year long.

Mary B · 1 year ago

Absolutely!

If there were just the time frame where it makes sense to anticipate what is supposed to be a season of hope, cheer, and love, the frantic and stressed faces would start to disappear.

Sorry to those in the bizz, but it really isn't all about retail.

missp · 1 year ago

people are starving, homeless and in trouble 364 days of the year, so what I would like to change is the concept of giving only around this time of the year. I understand that the sentimentality of the season helps bring out the extra giving, but yet, i want to see it and do it all the other days of the year.

Traci · 1 year ago

You're right. And this is exactly what I've always hated about Valentine's Day. Why on Earth do we need a designated day to tell our loved ones that we love them? Ridiculous.

Lori_from_Texas · 1 year ago

What I see in the holiday season is over the top crazy activity that is a counterfeit and subsititute for what people really desire and need. All of the craziness leaves us empty and unsatisfied, not to mention tired! I would love to see people return to the spiritual roots of their celebrations...whatever faith or culture they are embracing. Reconnecting to our roots would allow parties, cooking, gifts, and decorating to come alive as genuine expressions of joy, faith, generosity, and love.

Daniel Gibbons · 1 year ago

I'd like it if the festive spirit was, well, non-alcoholic. It's really upsetting that people see the holidays as an excuse to get drunk all day every day.

Natasha_L · 1 year ago

Defintely no carols before the 1st. Restoration Hardward had carols playing before Oct 31st this year! I'd like to see people get more creative with everything from meals to gifts to decorating. And it would be cool if we could focus more on creating a holiday for ourselves instead of reiterating how "commercial" the holidays can be - business is business, the holidays are what you make them.

Elisabeth · 1 year ago

I would have people be less concerned with what they "should" do or what's expected of them, and just do what brings joy.

Alison · 1 year ago

Exactly what I'd like to change about the world. People's minds.

Cobby · 1 year ago

I would like to ban the big corporate Christmas Party. Instead of spending lots of money on a downtown hotel, band, food, liquor and other little crappy party perks. I would prefer that we do a casual catered lunch together and maybe spend the afternoon volunteering as a company together.

I also had a new experience this year that I would like to ban. My mother-in-law sent me an e-mail yesterday telling me that they do not want more "stuff" to "dust and keep up with" and that she wanted us to donate to our favorite charity in their name. Well, that would be all good and fine if I hadn't planned ahead and bought her two nice thoughtful presents at the beginning of November (the sales of which happen to benefit my favorite non-profit). I suppose I could give them to another family member who would appreciate them. I know I'm probably being overly touchy, but I was actually offended. So I want to ban people from telling other people to not buy them gifts. To each his or her own.

Rick_Juliusson · 1 year ago

I've often offended my family with the same "no-gifts" request, or tight restrictions on the types of gifts allowable for our children. But I'd rather offend them at that time than offend them even further (and waste their money and energy and environmental costs) by just taking their gift to the thrift shop afterwards. If your mother-in-law truly does not want more stuff, than how does giving her more stuff show any respect for her desires and sources of happiness?

Cobby · 1 year ago

You have a good point. Maybe my issue has more to do with feeling like it was disrespectful of her to wait until so close to the holidays to broach the topic. Maybe it has more to do with feeling like her behavior is passive-aggressive. Maybe I am more upset that her approach to philanthropy seems to be a once a year thing, when I see it as a year-round effort. I don't know, but I'm just going to try to let it go.

Rick_Juliusson · 1 year ago

Thanks for your openness to my rather indelicately-worded challenge. Any or all of your 3 propositions here sound very fair to feel. Our family still struggles with the best ways to present our values and "rules" to our families and community, and I know we don't always succeed in making it a positive experience for them or for us.

Ellen · 1 year ago

This year I have seen many changes for the better, in my opinion, even if they reflect the sagging economy instead of heightened spirituality...Christmas catalogs in November instead of August....fewer gaudy decorations, etc.

This year I am celebrating the holiday with a month of reflection and spiritual focus. I am bringing the light into myself and sharing it with the rest of the world. I have a small nagging regret that I can't buy a gift for my Sweetheart (last year I gave him a laptop) but those gifts don't bring fulfillment past a momentary rush. Each day this holiday season I devote some time to thoroughly cleaning one small corner of the house. Those small corners add up to one clean, comfortable home!