DISQUS

Mary · 1 year ago

Date again. It's been way too long.

Ellen · 1 year ago

You will when you are ready. And you sound as if you are almost ready!

CarrieM · 1 year ago

it took me four years to be open to dating, wasn't ready, I'm not sure one is ever ready. What helped was I told everyone I knew to spread the word, met my husband through friends!

Constance · 1 year ago

I'd either volunteer to work with returning vets with PTSD or work with a mental health issue as a group leader.

Leanne · 1 year ago

I'm not sure where in the world you are located, but if there is a military base near you, you can always go and talk to the Medical Unit, or give them a call, and they should be able to refer you to their Mental Health Section or at the very least, a contact with whom you can talk to. There may also be help lines available to assist members of the military as well. There may be some regulations and security screening involved beforehand due to the sensitivity of some the information that may come up in sessions. Good luck!

Caroline · 1 year ago

Sell everything and start walking the world.

Leanne · 1 year ago

Caroline, it can be done. I'm in my mid-thirties and I am in the process of doing that very thing at this moment. I'm leaving in a week, and taking my first vacation ever that neither revolves around family nor is influenced by work. Go for it!!! You'll never look back.

Linda Borland-Fitzgerald · 1 year ago

Ooooh, can I come? Did you read Shirley MacLaines book about walking The Camino by herself. That should have been MY answer to the question.

Karen · 1 year ago

I do most of the things that cause a sense of fear in me when it comes to physical activity, but those which could cause financial hardship I don't jump into.

(i) · 1 year ago

Open up and go 'out there' to find (a) meaningful relationship(s).

Finish the PhD-thesis

Lori · 1 year ago

file for divorce and really let go of my marriage.

Crow Talk · 1 year ago

aw, lori. i'm sorry. i know that can be a scary thing. i'm kinda in the same situation.

Ellen · 1 year ago

It's a difficult decision. There will come a moment when you are clear and you will act. You may want to seek out a counselor to help sort out your feelings.

Lisa D · 1 year ago

Lori - my heart aches for you!
It took me over six years to leave a disappointing, nearly loveless marriage. My ex didn't want children EVER. We went to a million counselors. I stayed in the marriage for others - mainly my parents - and out of fear. What if I never find anyone? What if I end up alone with only MY CAT? Finally, I said to myself - give it all ya got or GO!
Praise God - I found the courage and left, found the love of my life and am now a stepmom to two great kids (really, really hard - but worth it)
Prayers for you...

Kristin_The_Goat · 1 year ago

Lose weight.

debbierodgers · 1 year ago

Succeed monetarily beyond my wildest dreams.

I think that, deep down, I'm afraid of success just as many other women are. Will I be found out as a fraud? Do I really deserve all this? Will people think I'm shallow? and so on :-(

licarrit · 1 year ago

Finally convince my husband that he could work without me and start finding the inner artist in me. I've been way too analytical for way to long. Go back to school, even if I don't know what for!

Jess · 1 year ago

Move to New York and take over the magazine world :)
Just move to New York in general.

Kathleen · 1 year ago

Come on over! I find New York City a fabulous place to live. Yesterday I walked the streets for a couple of hours and sat in a bookstore cafe to write and read - sheer joy for me.

DanielleLaPorte · 1 year ago

I wish I'd moved to NYC when I was single, searching, building, and a bit wilder. It's a planet. Be an astronaut. You can always come back home.

Suzyn · 1 year ago

I did! I moved to NYC and met my husband there. We considered moving after 9/11, but we decided that we didn't want to act out of fear. But when I got pregnant, we decided to move closer to my husband's family in DC. I miss it.
My mom just moved to NYC last month - in her 70s! Take her example - never too late!

Elvira Ryder · 1 year ago

Fall in love again.

Cecile · 1 year ago

I would leave the status quo. Move across the ocean and live in Paris!!

Cecile

Leah Graves · 1 year ago

I would stop worrying that things are going to go poorly with my new job (I love it and would hate for anything to go south). I had a bad experience at the end of my former job and it's going to take me a long time to be able to live without fear job-wise.

Traci · 1 year ago

Normally I'd say chop my hair, but I DID IT LAST NIGHT! WooHoo!

Now, however, if I weren't afraid I'd quit my job and work from home.

Danette · 1 year ago

Right on!

It's amazing how much bravery is needed to chop off hair. And how powerfully rewarding that can be.

Actually, I hear the same about quitting your job and working from home...

Kirsty · 1 year ago

Move to Ottawa for a month. Test my networking skills. Land myself a job that requires passion. P.S. Danielle, I've obviously never heard you read poetry but you seem like you could definitely hold yourself on a stage. May I suggest you watch Saul Williams in SLAM this weekend for a little inspiration!?

DanielleLaPorte · 1 year ago

LOVED SLAM. And I think Saul is a chocolate angel. Thanks for the inspiration...I shall go You Tube Saul for a dose of his good stuff.
xo
Danielle

Crow Talk · 1 year ago

i would venture out and live on my own instead of living where i am for fear that i can't make it on my own financially.

i would also fly to italy.

Danette · 1 year ago

You can do anything Crow Talk. I've seen you amaze the world again and again.

And, Italy would loooooove you. ;)

Sometimes the fear of what would happen by not taking the leap becomes just as scary as taking it. What is at stake?

Leanne · 1 year ago

Danette, your last line reminded me of one of my favourite quotes. Perhaps it may provide some inspiration for you, Crow Talk:

“And the day came where the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” ~Anais Nin

Danette · 1 year ago

Ah yes! I've heard that quote before. Thank you for this Leanne, I think I need to write this quote out and hang it in my studio for a while.

Ellen · 1 year ago

Keep plugging at marketing until my business takes off.
The fear keeps me seeking distractions.

Katasha · 1 year ago

Quit the job that I was educated to do and go full time in my small biz: weddings and event planning.

Leanne · 1 year ago

Danielle, be sure to videotape your oration and post it here! We would all love to watch you in action!

Lisa D · 1 year ago

I would get a loan, convert a huge old warehouse and open a art gallery/martini bar!!

weezie · 1 year ago

Go on a medical mission trip.

Elena · 1 year ago

paint more.

visit lots of psychologists clinics offering my help.

I should do both of these anyway.

Kathleen · 1 year ago

Write poetry every day, take classes and workshops, send poems out to publishers.

Cindy - Creative Classic · 1 year ago

Quit my job and write full time.

LaKecia · 1 year ago

Like Carrie I would love to be able to tell the truth without the hurt and disappointment. I would quit my job and write.

Meredith · 1 year ago

If I wasn't afraid I would...

- Lose my fear of speed and control and finally get my driver's license
- Lose my crushing fear of failure (or just plain mediocrity) and finally finish the 4 credits I have left to get my BA
- Lose my fear of judgement and finally let myself loose on this world without inhibitions and actually harness my potential
- Lose my fear of heights and walk a tight-rope in a circus with the frou-frou-est tutu you've ever seen!

Ava · 1 year ago

Quit my job and go work in theatre

Rick_Juliusson · 1 year ago

Kill a chicken. I've recently become a farmer, and need to fully embrace the role and be part of the food production chain. If I can eat meat, I should be able to kill the animal it came from.

DanielleLaPorte · 1 year ago

Never did I think I'd be called upon for my chicken-killin' knowledge. Growing up in the country had it's benefits. If you really want to eat a chicken... Get 1 tree stump with a flat surface. Hammer in two big long nails about 2 inches apart in the center of the stump (this acts as the, uh, neck holder.) A sharpened ax makes a very big difference. Ideally, you have side kick to help hold the chicken down, but you can do it by yourself. Neck in slot and...well...you know the rest. Lie chicken on stack of newspaper to absorb the blood.
Or...stick to vegetarianism.

marn · 1 year ago

Stand up comedy - all the way! Am working on it though by attending theater sports, wee-haw! :-)

Wazzy · 1 year ago

I would unabashedly be myself in every situation, and not apologize for it. I would tell people what I need when I need it, and do as my heart desires always. I would not be afraid to say how I feel, what I want to do, and when I want to do it. I have a fear of hurting people's feelings, of making them feel put-out, and also I have a fear of people not liking me. I would listen always to what my true authentic self wants to do, and DO THAT.

emilycline · 1 year ago

wow. You took the intention and words right out of my soul. I'm so with you! Self power!!

EcoDiva · 1 year ago

That is just what I mean by ROAR from my most authentic self....now LET"S DO IT!!!!

marn · 1 year ago

Remember you cannot 'make' anyone 'feel' a certain way... The only person you are in control of is yourself.... If that person chooses to feel angry, upset, put-out, resentful, etc... it really is their problem, not yours. If that person doesn't like you while you are being your 'true' self, then why would you want to spend time with them? Find some people you can be 'real' & 'true' around.
The best gift you can give yourself & the world is your true self. :-)

ellabobella · 1 year ago

Try to be an actress.

CarrieM · 1 year ago

Acting is one of my secret desires. I am going to sign up for a class!

K. · 1 year ago

Sing in public!

Danette · 1 year ago

I would look stupid, sound stupid, and let myself make more beautiful mistakes.

I would perform somehow, and use my voice in new ways.

Laura Neff · 1 year ago

Tell the truth, in the moment, with calm, searing clarity and deep love. Every day.

Lea · 1 year ago

I would finish my web site and mke money and move to Greene County!!! Get married... parent my son the way I invison.

Jen · 1 year ago

Just do whatever it is in front of me.
I spend so much time mulling over every action, a lot of opportunities get lost.
I know I can handle pretty much anything - I'm very good in a crisis (years of procrastination practice, perhaps??). So, I suppose, it's just letting go of the fear of failing, and doing it.

Traci · 1 year ago

Ditto, sister!

katie laporte · 1 year ago

Iam not really afriad of too many things in life except maybe cutting my hair short..but being a new mom i would really like too..hmmmm.. maybe after the wedding!?!

Traci · 1 year ago

Cut, cut, cut! It's fabulous and it makes you feel like a brand new person!

DanielleLaPorte · 1 year ago

no no no - do not cut your hair short. this is a classic new mommy mistake. (tho' you'd look hot, I think you could totally pull it off, especially with some blonde action) But don't do it til you at least lose the baby weight and you're feeling like your body is yours again. I bet ya a lot of new mamas would concur.

marn · 1 year ago

I concur! DO NOT DO IT! I have seen WAY too many women do it, and then REALLY feel like they have lost their identity!!! Go for some hilights and a good cut. Spend some money on a great hair products. It will make all the difference!

Susie Hutchinson · 1 year ago

Have another baby.

stella · 1 year ago

Stand up and sing in front of a stadium of people.

Suzyn · 1 year ago

Oh, jeez. All of the above, minus the chicken killing (I don't eat poultry, anyhow!)

Tell the truth, quit my job, sell everything, wander the earth with my family in tow, be an artist...

Rick_Juliusson · 1 year ago

oh come on suzyn, live big, grab life by the horns (or chickens by the neck as the case may be)...

MoJo · 1 year ago

Follow my bliss. And have faith that the consequences are neither good, nor bad, just part of the web of life...

EcoDiva · 1 year ago

ROARRRRRR quietly, calmly ROAR from my inner most authentic place of intuition and knowing.

dStar · 1 year ago

If I was not afraid, I would backpack across the world, and do things I would otherwise never dream of doing, like skydiving or bungee jumping from bridges.... Really experience life, no holding back.

sazza · 1 year ago

Call my self an artist, and allow myself the opportunity to live it.

Michelle · 1 year ago

-pack up my family and spend a good chunk of time 'in the south' doing some int'l development work, ideally a rockin' social justice gig with the the Catholic Church
-last night in bed I thought... I want to go to law school.
-move to rural Ireland and raise sheep, grow vegetable, produce wool and run and inn. Excpet, I actually want a franchise of inns.
-sing and act on stage

Powerful, illuminiating question. Thank you C&D.

laurie_matthews · 1 year ago

Be unabashedly bold in everything I do! Take more risks when it comes to fulfilling my dreams.

Nancy · 1 year ago

I am conflicted. I cannot decide between fulfilling my dream of moving to NYC...or adopting a houseful of kids. The fear in this is monetary, I am a single woman & fear making the wrong decision & not being able to provide for myself, or potentially my new family.

My perfect dream...to live in NYC during the week, have a home on a lake for weekends and adopt children & have a wonderful multi-cultural family...the icing on the cake would be to have a life partner too!

Lori_from_Texas · 1 year ago

I would open my home more for evenings of casual conversation & delicious food among friends & friends of friends. My fear is that I would be over-extending myself and that I don't have the "hostess with the mostest" ease like some of my out-going/partygirl friends.

Linda Borland-Fitzgerald · 1 year ago

Lori, save up if you have to and hire a small but reputable caterer and enjoy yourself.. you will be envied.

EcoDiva · 1 year ago

Lori, This is one of my favorite things to do. Something that I've found that takes the pressure of is having fun with it. We have nights where each of us brings a favorite dish and we each make sure we choose salad, main, desserts etc. But if there end up being more than one dessert...oh well ;-). Seriously, this is a great way to connect and everyone feels like they are a part of the evening in their own unique way, even if it's just bringing a great bottle of wine. This is a great way to have an amazing meal without spending mula.

Isabelle Vonturi · 1 year ago

All my fears are now within my power by acknowledging them and acting anyway. To be extraordinary one must be unreasonable. Going beyond all those little reasons why I can't do something has me truly living!

Thank you Carrie for sharing your experience of the Landmark Forum. My whole way of being is transformed and now everything I want to do in life is possible.

Before I would by derailed by fear, my story of the past, and basically frozen in place by the proverbial headlights of being inauthentic and lying to avoid looking bad. I felt unfulfilled, dissatisfied and knew that I wasn't anywhere close to reaching my true potential.

Now the world is my hot, juicy oyster and wow am I ever going for it all!
Sophisticated Lustrous

mariellesmith33 · 1 year ago

I would write a book, become a public speaker and create more group gatherings that are filled with meaning, spirit and laughter!

Elisabeth · 1 year ago

Ride my bike downhill without hanging on the brakes the whole time! :D

Linda Borland-Fitzgerald · 1 year ago

Public speaking.. and everything else that makes me vulnerable to judgement, criticism, ridicule, abandonment and what is it the Amish do? Shun? Yeah, that too..

Shirley Ann · 1 year ago

I did exactly what I was afraid of - and came to love it. As a very young woman I was afraid of
heights. I conquered a bit of it...being asked to climb a ranger tower so that a photo could be
taken of me overlooking a forest. That was hard. I would shake if I had to go up in a tall building.

Later in life, possibly in reaction to an abusive husband - I took flying lessons and I became a
pilot. The husband is gone from my life. I flew for a time after that - and then it was no longer
necessary. I am now learning, writing, painting - and enjoying life. Conquering what you are
afraid of calls us to deal with many levels of fear. If we do that, we are truly free.

alligator_kate · 1 year ago

For me it is poetry slam too. Or at least public poetry reading... I had almost let myself forget that I want to do that. I used to do it all the time, years and years ago, and have somehow lost my nerve. This is a good kick in the pants.

Angela · 1 year ago

Get a tattoo, and maybe veneers on my teeth.

Amy Guth · 1 year ago

I don't have much fear of doing things, either. I wonder, sometimes though, if a fear of diminished privacy stops me from being more successful, as it's been my experience that people want to know so much about successful people. One day, I'll find a way to balance both.

Rick_Juliusson · 1 year ago

if you really want to overcome a fear of diminished privacy, try marrying a writer - my wife is in constant amused fear of what i'm going to publish next :)

Cobby · 1 year ago

If I weren't afraid, I would stop trying so hard to be subtle and I would become more assertive like I used to be before a boss I respected told me that people would think I was a "B----" if I didn't learn to be softer.

DanielleLaPorte · 1 year ago

being a bitch and being soft is not an either/or proposition. You can be BOTH!

missp · 1 year ago

hmmm .. what would I do if I weren't afraid? EVERYTHING.. I'd get it together and travel, I haven't flown forever, gone anywhere that I can't drive to... I'd get back on stage and perform.. I'd just like to not be so afraid.. One day at a time.. I'm working on it.. Just get going!!! lol..

Nicole · 1 year ago

Like debbierodgers below, I would be successful if I wasn't afraid. sometimes success is scary, what if i fail and everyone knows? I'm working to move past that so I can taste the sweetness of success.

Alison · 1 year ago

Shine.

aceofsomething · 1 year ago

make more mistakes.

Hilde · 1 year ago

Quit my Job, sell everything, take my two dogs, leave this city, start all over.

Lindsay · 1 year ago

I'd rip down a 10ft glassy wave with style and grace, just like in my dreams.... Then i'd quit my winter job and become a sponsored big wave surfer and travel the world seeking the best breaks out there, swimming with dolphins and enjoying every aspect of that lifestyle. Is that selfish?

Vanessa Rae · 1 year ago

I would live moment by moment and trust that my heart would lead me to fulfilling my passions and deepest desires. All too often I get caught in the past as well as the future and I fear, I worry and I doubt which leads me to not trust myself. A vicious cycle of generating fabulous ideas but nothing to show for them. If I weren't afraid I would live an authentic life and trust that by living fully in the moment, I will my way into the answers.