Carrie and Danielle - Latest Comments in What promise did you keep that changed your life?

Re: What promise did you keep that changed your life?

Jody — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 04:00:13 -0000

A few years ago one of my family thought they were protecting me by hurting my husband (emotionally). I realised then how precious my husband was and how my family really don't know me at all but simply have an idea of who they want me to be.
I promised myself and my husband at that time that I wouldn't let them hurt our relationship again.
Since then our relationship has improved dramatically and we got married. I now know how important he is to me, someone who loves me for who I am and will support me in my dreams. I feel so lucky every day that I met him.

Re: What promise did you keep that changed your life?

lynn — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 00:09:19 -0000

I promised to be faithful to my husband.

Re: What promise did you keep that changed your life?

Becciebeth — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 16:42:26 -0000

I will always be proud that you are my sister. But best of all my best friend. You truely inspire me.

Re: What promise did you keep that changed your life?

Vanessa Rae — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 12:40:27 -0000

I'm loving how you strived for excellence and not perfection. Congrats on raising confident, happy girls. A definite feat these days.

Re: What promise did you keep that changed your life?

Vanessa Rae — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 12:36:44 -0000

you're absolutely right. thanks for the encouragement.

Re: What promise did you keep that changed your life?

hadley — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 12:27:53 -0000

When my first son was born, I took one look at him and promised I would never, no never, ever do anything for him that I might resent later. (My mother-in-law was one of those "after all I've done for you" moms.)

I very quickly realized what I intended as a gift to my son was really a gift to me ~ the gift of choice. I always have a choice, in every situation. Nobody "makes" me do anything.

And I have kept that promise: Everything I've done for my sons and others in my life has been my choice. I do not wear a necklace of resentment beads. I am light hearted.

Re: What promise did you keep that changed your life?

hadley — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 11:41:01 -0000

what is Katieh's web address?

Re: What promise did you keep that changed your life?

katieh — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 07:59:12 -0000

Thank you for the kind words. :)

I would encourage you to start doing some of them now - knitting doesn't need to take up alot of time or space, and can be crammed into the tiniest snatched moments. plus there is alot of support, information and inspiration out there.

of course you might be doing that already, but the 'One Day' aspect just made me want to encourage you to start working towards that 'one day' now if you can. since it's the only way you'll get there.

*hug*

Re: What promise did you keep that changed your life?

Dena — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 07:48:43 -0000

When I married my first husband, I promised that I would keep life interesting. Evidently that is the only promise I kept, hence he became my ex-husband - so I suppose that did change my life!

Re: What promise did you keep that changed your life?

Danette — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 23:41:04 -0000

I married myself on June 7, 2000. I made an engagement necklace I wore during the months prior as I planned my ceremony and had 2 identical leather wrist bands made custom by Northbound Leather for my wedding bands. I called in sick to a job I hated and prepared for a lovely day of meaningful solitude. The ceremony was private, on Toronto Island on a sandy beach. I wrote my vows, brought my stuffed bunny, Lui Lapin, as my witness, and danced to my wedding song on a walkman while I danced barefoot in the waves. My vows permit me to be married to anyone else I choose, so long as I always honour myself as the primary unconditional love of my life.

My song was "Baby, You've Got What It Takes" by Dinah Washington and..a guy whose name I don't remember. I took pictures.

Like so many of us commenting here, I promised to put myself first. And as a result, I also promised to end toxic relationships and surround myself with people who love that I put myself first.

Life Changing Promises.

Re: What promise did you keep that changed your life?

Carrie McCarthy — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 23:31:43 -0000

Wonderfully said Sabrina.

Re: What promise did you keep that changed your life?

Carrie McCarthy — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 23:07:05 -0000

Katieh, your web site is so lovely and inspiring. One day I intend to spin, dye and knit in my studio by the water, thank you for reminding me of those desires.

Re: What promise did you keep that changed your life?

Carrie McCarthy — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 22:19:25 -0000

You are welcome Amanda, I found taking a stand for what you want is very attractive!

Re: What promise did you keep that changed your life?

Sabrina — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 22:14:52 -0000

Two years ago I promised myself that I would always be there for me no matter what - I believe it's called being your own best friend.

Re: What promise did you keep that changed your life?

Colette — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 22:13:06 -0000

You are so very welcome.

Re: What promise did you keep that changed your life?

V. — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 21:48:18 -0000

I promised I'd never be like my mother.

Re: What promise did you keep that changed your life?

Stephanie — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 21:34:55 -0000

You cold promise yourself that you will think of a promise to make that will change your life... and then keep the promise.

Re: What promise did you keep that changed your life?

Stephanie — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 21:31:18 -0000

So true! I think some sadistic jerk invented pantyhose for the sole purpose of making flight attendants itchy and highly flammable. And when fashion designers realized that they could make a ton of money when women had to replace something practically EVERY TIME THEY WORE IT - because it snagged on something like a desk or a fingernail - as opposed to every season because it was too wide or narrow or short or long or plain or flowered or dotted or striped or flowy or stiff, they started a conspiracy to make the rest of us wear them too.

Needless to say, I have never worn pantyhose since, either. If I wear a skirt and it is cold, I wear boots!

(I am sort of with you guys on the heels thing... being short is kind of cute. However, if I really want to feel sexy I do have to wear them. I no longer need to feel sexy every single moment of every day. Cute is good enough most of the time.)

Re: What promise did you keep that changed your life?

Tara — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 21:13:41 -0000

I promised myself that when I had kids, I would be a totally excellent mother. I do heaps of stuff with my girls, and people are always commenting on how confident, articulate and happy they are - so I must be doing OK, I'm proud of them!

Re: What promise did you keep that changed your life?

Amanda | Cultivated Grace — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 20:01:34 -0000

Last year I promised to stop abusing and neglecting myself. I'm not in my parent's house anymore, and I don't have to live by their rules or the example they set for me. I still struggle on some days, particularly when I uncover a previously repressed memory, yet I'm learning to celebrate the little victories that come with each small act of self-care.

Re: What promise did you keep that changed your life?

Jennifer Sage — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 18:24:35 -0000

That would have to be the day I got married to Bob. On sept 8 it will be 30 years. I used to feel rather envious of poeple who were married to their "soulmates" because it made marriage seem like some easy thing that was all moonlight and roses. We have had difficult weeks and years and months but we stuck it out through those times.

I have grown and learnt over all those years. The best times always came after struggles as we both changed and grew. The posting today here on "to thine own self be true" is part of how marriage happens. You can only respect yourself to the degree you respect another soul. Yes sometimes there is distance and mostly closeness. I think of the words of Kabul Gabrin (that is spelt wrongly AKA The Prophet) Let there be spaces in your togetherness.
Each marriage is a unique new universe. We love and adore each other AND irritate each other to bits sometimes. One of the great joys of midlife onwards is the ability to hold paradox.

Oh and I need to add it was a second marriage for both of us. My first marriage was violent and I hit back to physically defend myself. Nothing to be proud of. After I walked away with all the attendant feelings of shame and failure I came to a quiet place in myself: How did I contribute to this train wreck? The answers to that question probably contained a promise to myself not to repeat that learning again.
Real intimacy with another comes with the promise to value and respect another human soul as much as oneself. It is a dance and a journey.

Re: What promise did you keep that changed your life?

Jennifer Sage — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 17:48:06 -0000

This is amazing. I did not know that about the ring finger of the right hand and now that I do it totally affects the ideas I have about a ring I want to have made for that very finger. An oath finger. Hmmm! that's no frivolous thing is it? thank you for your posting.

Re: What promise did you keep that changed your life?

Vanessa Rae — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 17:04:30 -0000

After reading through everyone's awesome answers I went to type mine and realized that so far in my first twenty-five years of life, I have not made one single promise to myself. This very fact explains so much. I am a list maker, a dreamer, and i come up with great ideas but I lack the confidence and drive to follow thru. Somehow I never get from idea to action to result. Aaaaaaah! I have goals but promises?! This I will certainly reflect upon.

Re: What promise did you keep that changed your life?

Vanessa Rae — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 16:54:53 -0000

Your testimony has inspired me. At twenty-five years old, a newlywed and new mom, I worry that in some ways I've lost myself, that I've ran out of "me time" and as a stay-at-home mom I also worry that the world and its opportunities are passing me by as I clean house and nurture baby. You've reminded me that each season in our lives deserves dedication and nurturing. You've reminded me that life is about the journey and that it isn't a race to be won but a rather a string of pearls to cherish. Thank you.

Re: What promise did you keep that changed your life?

Sheri — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 16:23:03 -0000

It's where my 'Cultivated Ease' was born!