Carrie and Danielle - Latest Comments in What kind of friend are you?

Re: What kind of friend are you?

Terry — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 09:46:33 -0000

When asked if I can help I answer "Yes" then I ask "how"

Re: What kind of friend are you?

VanessaRae — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 11:40:58 -0000

I must be honest too, lately I feel that I have been a poor friend as well. When I'm feeling overwhelmed and don't quite have a handle on my perspectives I tend to disappear and and try to handle life all on my own. I'm realizing that by connecting with others and being a thoughtful friend, I can take the focus off of myself and therefore see that we are all in this together, we all have our own stresses and circumstances yet one of our greatest resources for happiness is the friendships we hold close to our hearts.

Re: What kind of friend are you?

stella — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 17:25:07 -0000

I am a loyal friend who is a good listener. I am gifted with the most incredible group of friends whom I can truly depend on through thick and thin. My challenge in life is to allow them to give to me as much as I give to them. Working on it!!

Re: What kind of friend are you?

marieleona — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 10:39:09 -0000

I once took a personality test with my best friends and the end result was that I was a romantic among warriors, which meant that most of my friends are competitive, go getters and strong minded. I can be that too, but most times I'm the listener, the shoulder to cry on, the pacifier, the philosopher, the romantic among the warriors. I hope I'm a great friend, non-judgemental, easy-going and loving. I'm also a wise-cracking, take life with a grain of salt kind of gal so I think basically my friends like to be around me.

Re: What kind of friend are you?

Karen — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 13:23:31 -0000

I am often referred to as partner in crime. Often I am up for just about anything and will make the ride as fun as possible. I am also there to bring special toothpaste half way around the world for a girlfriend's daughter who won't use anything else (I was already coming to visit, but wasn't going to check my luggage... whole other story)

I will be honest if asked how a friend looks or if something should be purchased. I am a friend who will do anything technical/ construction/ repair I can for free and recommend someone if I can't.

I am a friend who forgets birthdays and middle names and has very little recollection of how I have met and maintained the friendships I have.

Re: What kind of friend are you?

Mary — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 03:17:05 -0000

Aloha LaLou,

I've always found that my friendships have started based on proximity or common interests. Anyone interesting at work or where you live? What are your hobbies or things that you want to try? Depending on what you can afford, take classes, join a group that does hikes, check out events at museums or theaters, etc. I recently started running with the Niketown Running Club and have met some really nice people through that. I wish you luck. It does get harder as you get older to make close friends, but if you make a few, it's worth it!

Re: What kind of friend are you?

Mary — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 03:12:40 -0000

I am an amazing friend. I'm loyal, generous, supportive, the social coordinator, the fun instigator, I have a great set of ears and love to give and get hugs. I always remember birthdays, although I might be a day late. I have had a large number of my friends for AGES, and I love them all with all my heart.

Re: What kind of friend are you?

Alison — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 02:38:30 -0000

You sound like you'd attract good friends, you're a great one yourself. The truth is something all people need to face, as much as many don't wish to.

Re: What kind of friend are you?

Alison — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 02:00:39 -0000

No poetry, just a smile. What you wrote is really beautiful.

Re: What kind of friend are you?

Alison — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 01:59:32 -0000

I'm the kind of friend who is supportive, loyal, self-sacrificing and honest. I tell stories, use metaphors, and quote lines that I like. I also carry secrets with me to the grave, something I've done for a very long time.

Re: What kind of friend are you?

EcoDiva — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 00:28:27 -0000

Hey LaLou,

You sounds like my kind of girl. I've moved many times in my life and my first point of reference on the map of a new place is keeping myself open to making that 1 (maybe 2) amazing connections. Then I feel like I'm home. Just be yourself and let the connections happen.

What city are you in? If you're near Bellingham, WA, I'll join you for a glass of wine anytime.

Re: What kind of friend are you?

CarrieM — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 21:56:56 -0000

Thank you T.

Re: What kind of friend are you?

Gayla — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 19:17:55 -0000

I'm not sure. I only have one person in my life I call a friend and he lives 2000 miles away. He thinks I'm great - witty, intelligent, giving, thoughtful, loving. This is something that has always bothered me & I often wonder what is wrong with me. I have many acquaintances, but only one friend. I have my suspicions about why this is - I'm bipolar and cycle very rapidly. My moods change at the drop of a hat and are unpredictable (even with meds, ECT) - most people have a hard time dealing with this. I always wondered if my symptoms would change if I had the support of friends. After all of the cruel things that have been said to me in the past by people I thought were friends, I'm just too scared to try to reach out.

Re: What kind of friend are you?

writer11 — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 18:13:13 -0000

My initial response to this question was detailed with my own experiences with two cherished friends who 'cut me loose' without warning. I too cried and questioned the years that I was a devoted, supportive, forgiving friend and believe me I had reason to end the friendships long before they did. Mourn what you lost but read my other entry that succinctly puts it into perspective. Trust that when things and people fall away from your life, it's usually to make room for something better (or what you need now) that's coming.

On a positive note, I have recently been reconnected with these friends and one of them took a decade. Our first meeting was tearful but joyful too and I can honestly say that she is in a much better place in her life, which means I can relate to her in a more profound way - at last. I am hopeful that we will remain in each others lives now. This isn't always the case as we or they, outgrow our relationships. It just bloody well hurts though. When you are really ready to let it go, just write your goodbye on a piece of lovely notepaper, make a wish for that person that is heartfelt and burn it or make a paper airplane out of it and send it off a cliff. Then get on with your life and remain open to the new things making their way into your life. Meanwhile, grieve any way you need to.

Re: What kind of friend are you?

MoJo69 — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 16:14:25 -0000

So sorry Laura - I've received a letter like that once. It cuts deeply. Strangely enough, it was from one of my oldest friends, who I also emailed today to ask the question "What type of friend am I?" Her response made me cry again, only with gratitude this time (our relationship continues after much crying, yelling and forgiveness). I know there isn't always a happy ending, and sometimes we need to shed relationships and friends - but sometimes they evolve as we grow and change and those transitions hurt. I'm babbling now - I just want to say my thoughts are with you. None of us ever goes out with the intent of being a crappy friend, or 'failing' those we love, and it is tremendously painful when we're perceived and experienced that way. Hugs to you. xo

Re: What kind of friend are you?

Ngonzi Truth Crushshon — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 15:10:24 -0000

I'm the friend you can count on to keep her word/promises. If I say I'm going to be there or do something I'll be there or I will call to cancel in emergency situations......

Re: What kind of friend are you?

Jess — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 14:41:02 -0000

Great at making people laugh. Always there for someone. Not very competitive. Not very judgemental.
Excited about everything. Happy for others - genuinely.

Re: What kind of friend are you?

actionpotential — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 14:38:17 -0000

I am a patient, nurturing, mirroring friend. I am healing and require a lot of solitude, so I'm not around all the time, but when I'm there, I'm THERE. I know that true presence is nurturing and healing, so I make an effort to be fully present to others when we are together. I offer up the wisdom that I have learned as I have healed, and seek to inspire and nurture healing and authenticity in my loved ones.

Re: What kind of friend are you?

missp — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 14:13:49 -0000

blunt, honest, direct.. that's one of my strengths and well, something I'm not good at not doing. Sugar coating is not one of my strong suits.. If you need me in the middle of the night or to hold your hair when you're puking, I'm your gal! Fiercely loyal..

Re: What kind of friend are you?

Mary — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 13:50:15 -0000

I couldn't agree more! Several times in my life, I have weeded my garden.

There are a few fabulous friends, whom I support, and they support me unconditionaly. Those are the keepers to carry into the future.

Re: What kind of friend are you?

ritz — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 13:49:16 -0000

I think I've been on and off - I've been good with my tighter network of friends, but there are those that I haven't seen in a while and haven't made the effort to meet up with to catch up. I really should considering that for the first time, I have a lot of time on my hands since I'm just working and not going to school.

Re: What kind of friend are you?

marn — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 13:30:31 -0000

I am the one you can rely on, but not to the point that I will let what you need get in my way of dealing with my own needs.
I am the one that you look to when you need someone to cheer you on, lead by example, be an inspiration.
I can help you to make fun to ANY situation, and bring light to darkness.
I am so blatantly honest about where I am at, that I will not let protecting my image come in my way of helping you.
I am respectful of your process, and where you are at in life, so that there are no expectations. I want the best for you so much that I will help you in any way to achieve it. SUPPORT is offered in a way that it works for you.
I bring 100% of myself to the table, and come with a trusting heart.
That's me! :-)

Re: What kind of friend are you?

Laura — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 13:28:40 -0000

What synchronicity this question has for me. On any given day I might have been able to say a lot about what kind of friend I am but late last week I received a letter ending a very long friendship. It was devastating to read. I've spent the better part of each day since then pondering every facet of her perception of me and our friendship. It’s been a painful process. As hard as it is to make sense of this unsettling experience, I will try to take away some helpful insight along with my sorrow knowing that I desperately failed her as a friend. In the end I know in my heart, and from talking with friends who still love me, that I am a sincere, exuberant, positive and caring person who values her friendships above all else. Even the one I've lost.

Re: What kind of friend are you?

Sabrina — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 13:14:56 -0000

I'm loyal, possess integrity, am thoughtful, kind, playful, witty and compassionate as well as gentle and insightful. It starts with being this kind of friend to myself and it made friendships external to me deeper and authentic.

Re: What kind of friend are you?

Theresa Lenardon — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 12:52:20 -0000

Hi Carrie; I agree that you are thoughtful, helpful and brave.
I would like to add that I think that as a friend, you are also very intuitive, creative, nurturing, understanding and compassionate!!!! and although we don't see each other often, I do know that "you care and are there"
I so love you for that.
I understand about how busy it gets that we all seem to lose touch and can't keep up with long-distance correspondence etc.
I feel that I too am a poor friend sometimes for the same reasons as you.
I can't seem to get and remain organized and I also can't seem to correspond to well - even with email!!! Busy, busy, busy - However, through the years I have been a caring, loyal and compassionate friend and have been able to demonstrate these friendship qualities over time so that my friends do know that although I may not correspond as frequently as I would like, I do really care and that I am always "there" for them - as I think you are for me!