Carrie and Danielle - Latest Comments in What is the wish behind your biggest complaint?

Re: What is the wish behind your biggest complaint?

Carrie McCarthy — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 23:12:39 -0000

no sugar, congrats!! let us know ow it goes.

Carrie

Re: What is the wish behind your biggest complaint?

Buffy — Sat, 31 May 2008 20:55:53 -0000

My biggest complaint is that my house is always a disaster. With 4 kids, 2 dogs, a cat, and a very demanding full-time job I guess that I really wish I was more organized.

Re: What is the wish behind your biggest complaint?

Tamara — Sat, 31 May 2008 19:04:39 -0000

had to add this from the Sanskrit ...

Look To This Day For it is Life, the very Life of Life.
In Its brief course lie all the Verities and Realities of your existence;
The Bliss of Growth;
The Glory of Action;
The Splendor of Beauty;
For Yesterday is but a Dream,
And tomorrow is only a Vision:
But Today well lived makes every Yesterday a Dream of Happiness, and Every Tomorrow a Vision of Hope.
Look well, therefore, to This Day!

- From the Sanskrit.

Re: What is the wish behind your biggest complaint?

Tamara — Sat, 31 May 2008 18:16:54 -0000

I complain that time is so unforgiving. We have only one moment to employ ~ the others are past, lost, gone, done ... or yet to come. When I realize the preciousness of the present, it occurs to me that I must "spend" each moment wisely and with complete awareness. How to share this realization so that we may all choose to fill the minute with 60 seconds' worth.

Re: What is the wish behind your biggest complaint?

Cindy — Sat, 31 May 2008 16:10:08 -0000

I remember moving to a big city as a student and being appalled by the lack of eye contact and general isolation. And yet I think I came to understand that those people are simply seeking some private time in the midst of all the chaos. I kind of envy their ability to be by themselves within the crowd.
c

Re: What is the wish behind your biggest complaint?

Cindy — Sat, 31 May 2008 16:02:06 -0000

Hiya...I feel the same way...sometimes I can feel the weight of the tiredness descend on me when I'm on my way home from work...it's a really bad feeling. At the present moment my energy level is not so bad. I've recently removed sugar from my diet and it seems to have made a huge difference.
c

Re: What is the wish behind your biggest complaint?

R. Lemov — Fri, 30 May 2008 06:21:15 -0000

I thought Stefan made an interesting and even profound point there: that the things that most stimulate complaint are qualities and tendencies we're reluctant to recognize in ourselves -- our own imperfections projected out & viewed via other people (necessarily flawed, but who isn't?)

Re: What is the wish behind your biggest complaint?

Virginie — Thu, 29 May 2008 13:54:37 -0000

I share your dream Chantal. When living in NYC, I found it hard at times to meet & connect with people; so many interesting people though! but everyone is always so busy. Now I feel lucky because with my husband's MBA came a great community and now that we're in Zurich, I've met a nice bunch of international women through German class. If only we could all connect like this everywhere & all the time!

Re: What is the wish behind your biggest complaint?

Chuck Vidalin — Thu, 29 May 2008 12:45:25 -0000

My biggest complaint about others (and I have lots of them), is people seeing the negative side of situations. No matter what the problem is, most choose to focus on the negative without ever considering the potential for a positive solution. The glass half-full/empty saying is massively overused, but since it is such a simple and clear analogy it is hard to ignore. Problems, set-backs and failures are all opportunities to evaluate and re-evaluate our approaches. Dwelling on the negative components of an issue and not attempting to find a creative solution is, in my mind, the actual failure most make. My wish is for people to seek the positive and thus create a more enjoyable world for themselves and those around them.

My introspective complaint is that I am a serial procrastinator (notice that I am writing this a day late!!). I want to believe this is because I am looking to make the perfect decisions, however, I know that many times it is due to shear laziness! I need deadlines to motivate me, but I tend to estimate how long it will take me to complete the work and then begin exactly that amount of time prior to the deadline. My personal wish is to work hard to begin tasks when they arrive rather than when they need to be done.

Re: What is the wish behind your biggest complaint?

Linda Bevan — Thu, 29 May 2008 01:01:00 -0000

My biggest complaint is that individuals do not accept responsibility for their actions. I have seen this in many aspects of professional and personal life, and in all ages of people. Perhaps we have grown a generation or two of folks who find it so much easier to pass the buck, find blame elsewhere than on their own shoulders, rather than step up and accept it when due. My wish then, is that individuals own up to their own shortcomings and/or mistakes, admit they're not perfect, and try to do better next time...I don't think this is too much to expect of everyday life.

Re: What is the wish behind your biggest complaint?

Mini Jacques — Thu, 29 May 2008 00:28:19 -0000

My bitching revolves around people who complain and do nothing about it. Over and over I hear how bad their lives and jobs are - how it's just getting worse. They get what they ask for and then are surprised!

I bitch when I get frustrated listening to them over and over...and then even worse - I get frustrated for them that they aren't doinganything to create a change or make a difference.

it took me a long time to learn that it's not my lesson to teach and my ego had to take a baclk seat to "helping" others to see it "my" way.

So I guess I just wiah people lived their passions, thought positives thoughts more than negative ones and lived authentically!

Now I just reccomend "Style Statement" by C&D and "The Success Principles" by Jack Canfield to those who I know need guidance and support! tellmy ego to relax and step aside so they can get moving on improving their lives.

Cheers!
Mini

Re: What is the wish behind your biggest complaint?

Karryn — Wed, 28 May 2008 23:47:05 -0000

Diane - I might need a little something in my "cuppa" in order to adopt your zen-ness. Great insight though!

Re: What is the wish behind your biggest complaint?

Karryn — Wed, 28 May 2008 23:42:42 -0000

Well said! So glad you shared your hard-won wisdom.

Re: What is the wish behind your biggest complaint?

RecollectedStephanie — Wed, 28 May 2008 22:35:55 -0000

Good point. "What Peter says about Paul says more about Peter than it does about Paul," eh? Our complaining really can tell us what's going on with our own inmost selves. I agree with you wholeheartedly. It's important to listen to ourselves - even when we're in a bad mood. (Maybe especially then!)

Re: What is the wish behind your biggest complaint?

Dianne — Wed, 28 May 2008 22:15:48 -0000

I love it when I complain because I have learnt to listen to that voice and change the direction of where my thoughts are heading. I say to myself "well whats the opposite of that"? and the voice inside kicks and screams because it doesn't want to change course (for example slow down when I'm really going fast, love myself when I hate myself) But over time I have found complaining for me really means I need soothing and I'm feeling vulnerable. I always start out with a nice hot cup of tea and take it from there! Cuppas fix so much!

Re: What is the wish behind your biggest complaint?

Connie — Wed, 28 May 2008 21:07:59 -0000

I'm discouraged that all the jobs I want weren't held by people half my age. I wish I could work at what I love as I used to when I was younger and that I was appreciated for my experience and knowledge instead of disdained for my aging.

Re: What is the wish behind your biggest complaint?

Lisa Green — Wed, 28 May 2008 21:06:41 -0000

Susie, don't lose yourself taking care of everyone else. I turn 50 in 6 mo. and will be an "empty-nester" in Aug. I realized about 10 mo ago that many years ago I had forgotten about me because I was so busy taking care of everyone else. I have made some MAJOR changes in my life since then and one is taking care of myself mentally and physically. I totally changed the way I eat (all organic) and I exercise on a very regular basis. I've lost 25 lb. since Sept and have gone from a size 12 to a 4. I've made a huge mental shift also, recognizing that it isn't selfish to take care of me. I'm just as important as everyone else in my life now and now I can give more of myself to others because there is "more of me" to give!

Re: What is the wish behind your biggest complaint?

Carrie McCarthy — Wed, 28 May 2008 21:03:34 -0000

Validation goes a long way!!

Carrie

Re: What is the wish behind your biggest complaint?

Lynda — Wed, 28 May 2008 19:37:51 -0000

My complaint is that people don't always compliment a job well done! So my wish is that everyone receives a kind word today and everyday:-) No matter how successful we are at what we do, we all like someone to notice from time to time.....

Re: What is the wish behind your biggest complaint?

Benita — Wed, 28 May 2008 19:09:31 -0000

One of my biggest 'irks' is people who judge. Mainly those that may judge me although they've never met me. If we've had a meaningful conversation or two and you feel you really know who I am, feel free to judge, if that makes you feel good, but until then...hhhmmmm...just talking about it is making my blood gurggle....can you hear it? I now know that in truth, I am my biggest judge of myself and if I come to deep loving and acceptance of self, then, and only then, can the universe follow suit. Thank you for this question and bringing that up to the surface again for me to observe.

Re: What is the wish behind your biggest complaint?

Judy — Wed, 28 May 2008 18:43:17 -0000

I complain that every day seems to be more of hurry up and wait! Colleagues and friends say I will get back to you at such and such a time and never do. "Be impeccable with your word" just doesn't seem to be what they are made of.....makes me wonder what else they don't do that they say they will. So what's behind that for me? I want it and I want it now! There's got to be something I am missing here!

Re: What is the wish behind your biggest complaint?

Theresa — Wed, 28 May 2008 18:42:31 -0000

I complain about peopole not "picking up after themselves" or not taking responsiblity for their messiness at home and at work. I have a hard time communicating my feelings about this, especially at home as it leads to bigger issues and so much time, which I don't have enought of, wasted debating and discussing. Hence, I end up not saying anthing, cleaning up everyone's mess and getting more bitter, angry and frustrated so that after time there is an EXPLOSION!! resulting in continued disrespect and me being labelled as psycho, perfectionist and control freak!! I guess I need to take some time and plan an approach, or a communication strategy that will allow me to communicate my feelings and let those messy people, who wait for me to clean up, really know how I feel. I'm still working on that.....

Re: What is the wish behind your biggest complaint?

Steve Harvey — Wed, 28 May 2008 17:38:15 -0000

This hits home for me. The art of projection comes standard in us all but at times we forget to watching our own film. The one thing you said about being part of it all is the core of my faith. Thanks for the reminder!

Re: What is the wish behind your biggest complaint?

RecollectedStephanie — Wed, 28 May 2008 17:17:31 -0000

I've been thinking about this all day, coming up with responses, discarding them as not quite right, and starting over again. It's finally hit me -- I do most of my actual bitching about people who complain!

I think this is because complaining is socially acceptable lying about at least one of a few key things. And it almost always gets company and some form of sympathy too. Complaining says "I bear no responsibility for my current situation" or "I am better than my current situation and I want you to know it" or "I am powerless over my life" or "This is bad, but I'm not going to do anything about it." (I mean the kind of complaining that's whining. The kind that doesn't take action.)

I think the thing that woke me up to it was the older people I have gotten to know - some are complainers and some aren't, and by the time a person is about 70 or 80, it's not "sometimes" complaining. It's either there or not there. So I've been watching the not-complaining people. They always take full responsibility for their own lives (for which they're grateful), they have a general sense of equanimity about other people and their weaknesses (I suspect, because they've admitted their own), and they don't see themselves as above it all. They know themselves to be part of it all. (So they're very interesting to talk to.)

I think my wish is for that kind of perspective - and I wish it for me, first. Then maybe I won't bitch so much about people who complain!

Re: What is the wish behind your biggest complaint?

Steve Harvey — Wed, 28 May 2008 15:06:06 -0000

Divine indeed! I bitch here and there about every day incidentals, but what really gets my goat is the hidden agenda. It rarely if ever happens in my circle but when someone new comes into my life, and intent is skewed for personal profit or protection, it makes my eyes roll. I don't take it personally anymore, but its annoying because I am one of those people who like to get to it. I guess I'm the worlds worst politician. My wish...to implement a higher state of compassion and further my understanding of the complexities between two completely different perspectives.