Carrie and Danielle - Latest Comments in What is the best relationship book you’ve read?

Re: What is the best relationship book you’ve read?

love relationships — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 19:59:43 -0000

Letters to a Young Poet by Rilke. Read it in high school, and it has been a large influence on my happy relationship of 12 years and counting...

Re: What is the best relationship book you’ve read?

VanessaRae — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 13:52:20 -0000

"The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship" (A toltec wisdom book) by Don Miguel Ruiz.

He also wrote "The Four Agreements" which could also be described as a relationship book.

Both are insightful and inspiring.

Re: What is the best relationship book you’ve read?

VanessaRae — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 13:40:11 -0000

I have to agree. I've been spreading the word on this book for years now and although I hate the title because it throws people off way too soon, I believe it helped me reclaim my independence, my self-confidence and helped me to honor and respect myself. It helped me have the confidence to leave an unhealthy relationship of six years and take the time to discover what is is that I actually value in a person as well as in a relationship. Years after reading (and re-reading, and underlining, and highlighting) I married a wonderful man who loves me as I am.

Re: What is the best relationship book you’ve read?

Val — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 10:04:52 -0000

Thank you for such a rich list of books on relationships! I've compiled a bibliography of the these titles, and will be starting my library search later today.
A book I discovered this summer and really found enlightening is The One: Discovering the Secrets of Soul Mate Love, by Kathy Freston. It includes a very thought provoking chapter on handling crises. While many other sources might be judgmental on "The Affair", Kathy's message is that being attracted to someone outside your marriage may be your spiritual hunger at work. She says "If we heed this wake-up call soulfuly, we can use it to open our hearts and minds, which will often bring us back to nourish the relationship we're in." Perhaps a topic for a future blog-- Resisting Temptations?

Re: What is the best relationship book you’ve read?

writer11 — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 03:36:08 -0000

It's about dating

Re: What is the best relationship book you’ve read?

Steve :: Creative Faith — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 17:04:24 -0000

ouch...but indeed.

Re: What is the best relationship book you’ve read?

kariann — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 09:40:15 -0000

Orgasms for two by Betty Dodson ... its about so much more than sex - it is about true intimacy and tenderness and respect and life in a most affirming way ... openness and trust and together in the truest sense of the word.

Everyday Blessings by john kabat-zin ... its a parenting book but applies to all relationships ... the author tells us the answer to "what women really want" and we all want the same thing, women, men or children ...

***Sovereignty*** ... so true - allowed to be true to our self, allowed to make our own decisions - not limited or denied... to like what one likes, love what one loves ... we simply need to honor the essence of our partners and children

Re: What is the best relationship book you’ve read?

Jennifer Sage — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 06:54:03 -0000

rules smules OMG

Re: What is the best relationship book you’ve read?

Vix — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 06:27:09 -0000

Seven levels of intimacy - Matthew Kelly
If the Buddha dated and married are great also

Re: What is the best relationship book you’ve read?

Jennifer Sage — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 02:58:38 -0000

What are the rules. It sounds awful how can anyone base their relationships on rules.
May be I will google it and see what I get

Re: What is the best relationship book you’ve read?

Danielle LaPorte — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 00:43:52 -0000

Ditto.

Re: What is the best relationship book you’ve read?

Danielle LaPorte — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 00:43:32 -0000

Dr. Phil rubs me in about 100 wrong ways. And...this is a really good relationship book. Super practical and refreshingly straight up.

Re: What is the best relationship book you’ve read?

Becciebeth — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 23:47:15 -0000

Lots of great books and advise today. The only relationship book I've ever read was Relationship Rescue by Dr. Phil McGraw. I read it as my divorce was being processed. I just thought even after marriage counseling, maybe one more thing could spare my children the pain and hurt this was causing them. Because of his "frankness", it only took the first chapter to confirm I was doing the right thing. It was the only thing, or person, to say, "It's OK, and will work out for the best for everyone, if you work at it." Working on shared custody, at first, was harder than working on my marriage. But it was worth all of it to now have the comfortable "Ex" relationship. I continued to finish the book, which extremly helped with my new marriage. I've learned so much from just being my husbands best friend, then trying so hard to be the perfect wife.

Re: What is the best relationship book you’ve read?

Ottoline — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 23:02:43 -0000

Whew! I thought everyone would say "The Rules" !

Thanks for some good ideas!

Re: What is the best relationship book you’ve read?

Gina — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 21:37:36 -0000

By far the best reality check books that I loved and recommend to friends are Breaking point, Lies at the alter (one of Oprah's fave as well) and He's just not that into you. These all sound a bit pessimistic but they truly contain insight from a very honest, no nonsense perspective.

Re: What is the best relationship book you’ve read?

Jennifer Sage — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 21:35:39 -0000

Yeah James Hillman.One of the few I woul crawl over many miles of broken glass to hear speak

Re: What is the best relationship book you’ve read?

Mary — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 20:37:46 -0000

The Prophet also has fine words to say about children - in that they come not of you, but through you. Very wise words.

Re: What is the best relationship book you’ve read?

Anna — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 20:33:22 -0000

I'm sold on this one. Love the title! Always open to an intelligent, leading edge perspective, and good writing is essential. I am something of a book snob and find that I often appreciate the advice but not the writing style. I will look that one up as I find myself in the midst of a very passionate relationship I would like to keep that way.
My own best read has to be Byron Katie's "I Need Your Love -Is that True?" How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval,and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead. It's not new information but what is are the very simple tools that she gives us to find them for ourselves. These tools consist of four questions and a turn around and are known as "the Work" by Byron Katie. This has been by far the most effective body of work that I have encountered. It has helped me find peace even in the most tulmoltuous places in life. I do "the work" regularly when I have a stressful thought and I find I want to share it with every one.

As

Re: What is the best relationship book you’ve read?

Danielle LaPorte — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 18:34:36 -0000

this one of my most favourite books of all time. ever. changed the way I look at life, and myself.

Re: What is the best relationship book you’ve read?

Jennifer Sage — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 18:11:03 -0000

i have read hundreds (?maybe thousands!!! I blush to think of the forests) and I hesitate to mention one. Is the knowledge useful? Loud Yes Yes.
What makes it important is to compost the knowledge with huge amounts of life experience.
Stop judging and blaming
Start loving (self and others)
Value the moment
Forgive
Laugh at yourself sometimes
Be tender with yourself always
Share your vulnerabilities
Make fair and ethical choices
Be willing to serve others.
Acknowledge that none of this is easy to do all the time in fact it is bloody hard
S..T happens
Love yourself and others anyway with huge compassion and patience
Sometimes it is safer to walk away especially if you or vulnerable ones you are responsible for are in physical danger
Start at top of list again
Write your own list: Trust me it will be better than mine
Have respect for your own wisdom and truth

Re: What is the best relationship book you’ve read?

Conga Keystone — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 17:49:49 -0000

I recommend from the bottom of my heart--ONE QUESTION THAT CAN SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE by Harry P. Dunne, Jr., Ph.D., 1991, Perigee Books. In 124 pages, you and/or your partner work (yes, it is hard work) to answer the question--"What's it like to be married to me?"
I'm unsure if this gem is still in print, but I checked and it is available on Amazon.com from other sellers.

Re: What is the best relationship book you’ve read?

writer11 — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 17:48:25 -0000

Uh oh.. is Mercury in Retrograde? This will be my 3rd attempt to post my idea of the best relationship book. It's not directly about love relationships but if you can resolve your issues (low self-esteem, etc.) at the root or source of the problem, then every other relationship, including the one you have with yourself, can improve. The book has been around for a while but is still available at all the on-line sites ( for about $15. It's "Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life." There are examples on every page so you will likely see yourself on one of them. In the end you may have to cut your family loose in order to save yourself. I can attest to this desperate action, first hand. My husband severed all ties with his mother after his father died - not easy, but he had to in order to save himself and our marriage. It worked or at least it helped to the degree he was able to function without the chronic anxiety, and therefore was able to function normally in the world and focus on what was most important to him. Man oh man, what we do to our kids....

Re: What is the best relationship book you’ve read?

kelsey — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 17:22:52 -0000

Two books that I have personally found helpful while in the world of dating are The Rules and He's Just Not That Into You. I wouldn't go so far as to say I agree with everything that's in them, rather, they both give solid advice and strategies that I found worked for me. Kept me moving forward and not stuck on a relationship what wasn't working.

I also love the passage On Marriage in Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet on marriage... And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

Re: What is the best relationship book you’ve read?

writer11 — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 17:21:06 -0000

excellent ideas

Re: What is the best relationship book you’ve read?

kelsey — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 17:15:38 -0000

I agree, Julia. It is just a very cut and dried, black/white view on how many men approach relationships. It helped me get out of the cycle of wasting time analyzing subtle nuances looking for hidden meanings to his "true" feelings rather than accepting the obvious.