48 comments

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  blw

  1 year ago

  Sheer exhaustion from work. I know, I know. Ongoing struggle with "workaholism" in progress.
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  Chantal

  1 year ago

  I have to agree with Carrie, great underwear! I like my black, lacey and sexy. Going barefoot and having my skin breathe by not wearing constricting clothing. So, wearing as little as possible whenever possible (around the house).
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  Emily-Sarah

  1 year ago

  Between a preschooler (who isn't sleeping in his own bed) and different job hats I'm always wearing, I'm constantly craving sleep, not sex. Very sad and totally unfair to hubby, I know! I must be more deliberate in finding ways to make this a priority.
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  Molly

  1 year ago

  Thinking about all that I appreciate about him during the day and wanting to express it during the night.
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  CC

  1 year ago

  What's keeping us from a great sex life is lack of our own place to live!! We're desperately looking for our own place and I just know it'll change things drastically.
  
  ....I hope!!!!
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  Xai Vicente Charles

  1 year ago

  What hinders is an open loft with doors only in the bathrooms. Our 6 year old shares one side of the second floor with us and it can be quite a challenge to get our groove on. What helps is having a mother who is willing to take her grandson for weeks at a time when he is out of school. That's when my husband and I let it all hang out; sexy underwear, Marvin and all. Hey...I just realized our son is out of school in three weeks. Yipeeeee!!!
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  P. J. Holloway

  1 year ago

  My husband is so DOWN after his prostate cancer surgery.....any suggestions....I miss him!
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  verysilly

  1 year ago

  ok
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  verysilly

  1 year ago

  ok
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  MelissaM

  1 year ago

  hinders: three provinces between us.
  will help: finally moving in together and catching up on three years of long distance. Only three months to go!
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  Ellen Falkenberry

  1 year ago

  As one who has been there....there are plenty of things he can do for you in bed....let him know that it is still an ongoing sexual relationship.
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  Ellen Falkenberry

  1 year ago

  We had no problem in this area until we adoped a Golden Retriever puppy in late March....Now she thinks it's a fun game and wants to play or she yowls from her crate - not a great soundtrack for making love.
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  Janet

  1 year ago

  Being too caught up in work other people are demanding from me to get out there dating. Plus, I've been packing on weight lately. Definitely don't feel as sexy when I'm heavier.
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  Rushmi

  1 year ago

  after having my second child 6 months a go, my mojo just isn't back. I do enjoy 'pleasing' my husband, but I think it's about time I get my turn...hopefuly somehow, somewhere, I will find my mojo and get back in the game.
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  Lisa D.

  1 year ago

  Hey! Is this Q&A in honor of the SATC opening?
  The 'Charlotte' in me doesn't discuss subjects like this openly!
  So I will appeal to the 'Carrie' in me!!!
  Helps: flirting, parading around in sexy underwear for his entertainment (privately of course - in our bedroom), innuendo, making the most of rare stolen moments when kids aren't around
  Hinders: daily exhaustion, our kids' constant needs
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  Scott

  1 year ago

  Dancing with my hottie wife. When she wears sexy things. Closeness. Being in love and in our marriage for ten years means everything to me.
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  Danielle LaPorte

  1 year ago

  yummers...I think I just blushed. you babe, you.
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  Danielle LaPorte

  1 year ago

  took me a year post bebe to really even notice my mojo was in the backseat. I think it comes back when you invite it. You just have to really want to invite it, which is tricky when you want an extra 15 minutes of sleep more than anything in the whole wide world.
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  Danielle LaPorte

  1 year ago

  a dear friend and her man went through the same thing. They took the attitude of, "We have the technology to rebuild this." And for a SHORT concentrated time EVERY day they had some form of physical intimacy. And that little bit of daily commitment to well, sexual healing, created a miraculous recovery. It brought them closer than ever, and hotter than before.
  
  Thanks for reminding me to be grateful for my man's health...won't take it for granted.
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  CV

  1 year ago

  What do you do when you have tried everything you can think of and still she has no interest? I've gotten to the point where even I have given up trying (and I have to be the horniest guy north of Charlie Sheen!). Why does someone not want to partake in one of the most enjoyable, incredible experiences in this world??
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  Larissa

  1 year ago

  A desperate need for sleep is probably the only thing more important to me! But on those nights when i'm just too exhausted to move, just having my boyfriend hold me close and listening to his breathing brings me the best peace of mind so I can relax. There's always the next morning!
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  karryn

  1 year ago

  The usual suspects: fatigue, stress, other people's needs...are so easy to blame. And I do. But sometimes it's okay to be tired. While it's not porn-starific, there's something to be said for falling into bed together, mightily exhausted, and sharing that smile that says, we've been together for fifteen years, have been through death and taxes, labour and delivery and I love you more than ever. Stretch marks and hair loss be damned, look what we've built together! A shared life! And two small people to make it a joyful one.
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  karryn

  1 year ago

  Ouch! Way to hang on there! Must be meant to be!
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  karryn

  1 year ago

  I'm sorry, but that really made me laugh!
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  RecollectedStephanie

  1 year ago

  Helps: remembering that making the "effort" is the same as making the effort to unwrap birthday presents.
  
  Hinders: pouting instead. Or not paying attention. Or declaring (even silently) that I don't WANT any presents! (Less likely as I get older and more grateful in this life.)
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  Lisa D.

  1 year ago

  I feel for you! Sex is awesome isn't it?
  Women are complex creatures sexually! Oddly, sex for women doesn't always have to do with the physical act.
  Men see a hot thing and 'it's all she wrote' where as a woman's sexuality might be affected from something that happened last week (or years ago)! Sex truly starts in the mind. Plus, she has to be comfortable in her own skin. I think I like sex so much because I know my own body and am comfortable with it.
  On the knowledge end of things - I've learned tons from Berman & Berman. Good luck!!!
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  Lisa D.

  1 year ago

  sweet!
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  Ngonzi Truth Crushshon

  1 year ago

  LOVE within a Committed Relationship....openness and honesty!!! Genuine concern outside of the bedroom is a turn on.
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  Ngonzi Truth Crushshon

  1 year ago

  I am a Miranda Sex in the city kinda gal....so it is what's on the inside-the emotionally soft side of the guy that speaks to my soul! He has to be emotionally available to listen and really hear my needs before I speak them...or attentive to my body language...and also able to understand the deeper meaning of why I'm feeling the way I feel and when I tell him how I'm feeling he responds accordingly. I LOVE A MAN THAT IS IN TOUCH WITH HIS EMOTIONS AND ALSO SENSITIVE TO MY NEEDS!
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  SRead

  1 year ago

  An Empty Nest has helped to put "more time together" on the "To Do List"! Good health and energy to spare sure helps....and as Molly suggests thinking about all that you appreciate and "dig" about your loved one.
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  Carrie McCarthy

  1 year ago

  baby sitter?
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  Carrie McCarthy

  1 year ago

  I can relate. Sometimes we forget our dog is the room and she starts to scratch the bed at the most inopportune time!!
  
  Carrie
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  karryn

  1 year ago

  Brilliantly said, Lisa!
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  Isabel

  1 year ago

  Unfair to you too! :)
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  Beth C.

  1 year ago

  I have always loved sex with my husband. Ever since the very first time. It has never taken much help for me to be inspired to connect with him in that way. As we've gotten into our thirties, his total lack of a sex drive has really hindered having a great sex life.
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  Beth C.

  1 year ago

  We have two Great Danes. We call the younger one the "Sex Puppy" because she gets really upset if we hug, kiss or make advances toward one another in her vicinity. She'll whine and wedge herself between us. It's pretty cute.
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  Channing

  1 year ago

  Hinders: the voices of disapproval from my upbringing.
  Helps:The increasing wisdom of knowing myself and expressing that authentically.
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  kerrymac

  1 year ago

  I notice huge drops in our libido that seem to reflect the chaos levels in our lives. If we are busy, stressed and the kids are acting up...sex is the last thing we have energy for. When we keep it simple, spend quiet family times, and keep the house mellow sex is more likely to be on the menu. I agree with Carrie that it needs to be added to the 'to do list' I also find some scents helpful...for some reason Karma from Lush is very sensual. I keep one of their solid shampoos in my undie drawer and it gives everything a nice light scent.
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  Buffy

  1 year ago

  The TV--total hindrance; it's not sexy but my husband swears he can't go to sleep without it.
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  Bridget

  1 year ago

  What sometimes hinders my sex life is a past bad relationship, particularily if the whole relationship seemed to be based on sex. Sometimes it is hard to get rid of the image of that slimy,cheating guy who never cared about having a conversation with me when I am having wonderful sex with my lovely husband. I am still waiting for the day (it has been 15 years so far)when his name and face never appear in my mind again.
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  Carrie McCarthy

  1 year ago

  may that day come soon.
  
  Carrie
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  Emily-Sarah

  1 year ago

  I need to utilize the grandparents more as babysitting help. And Isabel, you're right -- it IS unfair to me too. :-)
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  jo mango

  1 year ago

  when i read all the responses, my heart is just so heavy. i wish i were too busy, i wish i could just turn on the music for some loving...but there is no one in my life. i'm pretty and i'm fun and i'm only 55..and still, i'm just so alone. reading all of this is just painful. it seems for everyone, making time is the issue. for some of us, it's that there isn't anyone out there for us. believe me, i would find the time.
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  kathy

  1 year ago

  umm ... a willing participant would help!
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  Stephanie

  1 year ago

  Sexual energy is excess energy.
  
  Also it helps if you are getting along with your partner!
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  Cindy

  1 year ago

  I'm not sure about everyone else - but seeing my hubby cooking, or fixing a door or really anything that takes his care and concentration reaaly turns my crank! I can't figure out why every woman at his place of work doesn't fall for him.
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  LaKecia

  1 year ago

  The things that hinders our sex life is sleep. I crave sleep some nights. As a teacher it is all I can do to stay awake most evenings. The thing that helps it is going to bed in a gown, with nothing on up under it coming right out of the shower. That's what makes me feel sexy.
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  Vanessa Rae

  11 months ago

  hinders: lack of confidence, lack of sleep and lack of communication.
  helps: that I find my husband extremely sexy, that I make time to reflect on my own strengths and sexiness and there's something about monsoon season:)
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