Carrie and Danielle - Latest Comments in What do you want to be thanked for?

Re: What do you want to be thanked for?

Shannon Fitzgerald — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 12:52:32 -0000

For being a good friend.

Re: What do you want to be thanked for?

Beth C. — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 13:18:27 -0000

I totally understand.

Re: What do you want to be thanked for?

Beth C. — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 13:16:05 -0000

I would like to be thanked for all of the things I do around the house. I always thank my husband for every little thing he does to help around the house. I do so because while there are things in life that we just "have to do," we can choose the spirit in which we do them. When we choose to do the "have to dos" in the spirit of love and respect for one another, that brings a new level of awareness and spirituality to every task. The "thank you" becomes an acknowledgement of the spirit in which the task was completed. When I cook for him, do the grocery shopping, the laundry or anything else, I am really doing it because I love him and our home and not just because I have to do it. I would like to be thanked more in acknowledgement of the spirit in which I choose to complete my domestic tasks.

Re: What do you want to be thanked for?

MarieLeona — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 11:59:29 -0000

Interesting question. I find it's easy to think of what can I be thankful for but what do I want to be thanked for... Well, I always said that on my tombstone I want the inscription "I wanted to make the world at better place and only YOU will know if I did!" so maybe I want to be thanked for making the world a better place by being uncomplicated, by smiling and saying "Have a great day", my letting those who are dear to me that I truly do love them, by being a friend, by listening and hopefully by being nonjudgmental...! Yes I think that basically this is what I would like to be thanked for. Oh Yes! and for being the best Mom, wife and grandmom I would be.

Re: What do you want to be thanked for?

Lynda — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 14:29:38 -0000

I would like to be thanked for my innovative, out of the box thinking.....I'm not sure if others are comfortable with creative ideas and so they instead of being thankful for them they sometimes might feel threatened......perhaps due to the "change factor"....

Re: What do you want to be thanked for?

Daniel Gibbons — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 00:50:04 -0000

I like being thanked by people who truly appreciate food for cooking a great dinner. That reminds me, I need to make more time to cook...

Re: What do you want to be thanked for?

crosby — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 23:29:24 -0000

I would like to be thanked for the adjustments I have made in my life to make room for the needs of family members, in ways I have never had to do before. I would like to be thanked by those who are benefiting from these sacrifices in time, privacy and freedom. And thanked from the very depths of their souls, not in a perfunctory way.

Re: What do you want to be thanked for?

Kristin (The Goat) — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 20:26:06 -0000

Yep, it was honest. I probably did need to get it off my chest! I didn't realize it but, I bet I did need to get it off my chest. My husband and I have been working a lot of long hours together the past few months. I'm sure part of this grumbling is about us working together, too.

Re: What do you want to be thanked for?

Kristin (The Goat) — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 20:16:55 -0000

You're Welcome :)

Re: What do you want to be thanked for?

Carrie McCarthy — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 19:57:00 -0000

I used to be like that. Then I realised one day not accepting thanks was not validating someones offering. And that perhaps that offering took courage. It's like a muscle,it takes time to get in shape.

Re: What do you want to be thanked for?

Carol Z — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 17:13:04 -0000

I agree with Carrie about people saying, "No problem." It really irritates me. Why should there be a problem? I want to be thanked when I've really gone all out to host a dinner party and no one has helped me. I set the table & make a nice meal, trying to make sure everyone is having a good time. The guests thank me, but I'm sorry to say that my husband & daughter don't. They just take it for granted that this is "my job." I also agree with Kirstin about being thanked for the things she mentions.

Re: What do you want to be thanked for?

Nia — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 16:10:05 -0000

i don't know. its weird i say "thank you" all the time...it's just how i was raised (even though oddly enough, my mom who taught me, generally doesn't say it...to anyone...for anything). for me, it is difficult accepting thanks.

Re: What do you want to be thanked for?

lezin bogan — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 13:58:16 -0000

i did not expect this however, one day out of the blue, my husband thanked me for being his wife. he also thanked me for being a great mother to our son. i thought to myself that if i am never thanked again for anything, that's okay with me because i had just received the only thank you i will ever need.

Re: What do you want to be thanked for?

Connie — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 13:50:43 -0000

I'm trying to instill good manners in my 6-year old grandson; he's doing really well with his pleases and thank yous to Granny.

Re: What do you want to be thanked for?

lezin bogan — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 13:47:56 -0000

hi, i bet that if you STOPPED doing all of these things for 1 week, he would thank you. you do too much. marriage is a 2 way street and you are driving down a 1 way. i am thanking you for being honest. i am sure that it took alot for you to write that and you sound like you needed to get it off of your chest. thank you.

Re: What do you want to be thanked for?

Dena — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 13:06:53 -0000

This may sound vain, but I'd like to be thanked for taking the time to look decent when I leave the house! I always make certain I'm well dressed or appropriately dressed for the occasion, hair is neat and tidy, make-up on (or at least lipstick). I see so many people who look like they don't care how they look - I even had one staff member who would come to work with her hair still soaking wet (at least I knew she had a shower). To me it's disrespectful of people not to care how they appear to others.

Re: What do you want to be thanked for?

marn — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 13:02:48 -0000

Carol Z. LOVE the 'my pleasure' response! FANTASTIC!!! I will use that starting today.
I want to be thanked for just being me. Appreciated for bringing so many smiles to peoples faces (especially my husband). I often get recognition for my sense of humor by my friends, but I would like to hear a "WOW thanks for lifting me & helping me feel better" from my husband...

Re: What do you want to be thanked for?

Luciaf — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 12:58:05 -0000

My husband friends and family are all very good at thanking. My work environment too. Makes me realize I think I actively collect people who express themselves verbally because I thrive on praise, sometimes to the point of being unhealthily relying on it. But it's also the fact I collect people who are grateful and remind me to be grateful. My friend Anita is priceless for this. She'll see something beautiful in someone or something after I've dismissed it and I will rethink it all, and never be able to dismiss it again.

Re: What do you want to be thanked for?

Danielle LaPorte — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 12:55:24 -0000

I'm SO with you. We refer to it as The Wave. It's a game for me now to notice who gives The Wave, and I gotta say...according to my data, it's mostly men in pickup trucks.

Re: What do you want to be thanked for?

Danielle LaPorte — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 12:53:08 -0000

that's my reply most of the time...and every time I say it (and I never say it unless I really mean it,) it feels dignified and sweet -- liking giving does.

Re: What do you want to be thanked for?

Rushmi — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 12:51:51 -0000

I get plenty of thanks for all I do - but I would love my husband to say thank you for doing the laundry - folded and put away. I hate doing laundry, and when I actually do it all from washing, folding, ironing and putting it away - well, to me that feels so great, that I want to be acknowledged with a "Wow, thank you, my white shirts look amazing." jeff loves to do laundry, so I guess for him, it's not a big deal that it is done....just once...a Thank you, Please.

Re: What do you want to be thanked for?

kerrymac — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 12:29:18 -0000

I appreciate your thoughts Carrie as I often get embarrassed when thanked and pull a "no problem," or "it was nothing". Next time I will say You are Welcome, period.

I want my kids to be more grateful for all I do for them...I want more thank-yous and you are the best Mommy in the world! They do have fairly good manners so I want this to come unprompted from me. Those are the times when their thankful thoughts touch my heart. That is one this I love about sharing Grace before meals with friends or family, it's an opening to express gratitudes that often go unsaid. www.snickerdoodles.typepad.com

Re: What do you want to be thanked for?

Carol Zubick — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 12:15:49 -0000

When I was in Japan visiting my daughter, her friend Yuito took us to many shrines and temples. Yuito's English was pretty good. When I thanked Yuito, he nodded to me and said 'my pleasure'. He, in a way, was thanking me back. I've never forgotten that and when people thank me for something and I've taken pride and enjoyment in pleasing them, I say 'my pleasure'. It feels good to say that. Try it sometime. :) Happy Days!

Re: What do you want to be thanked for?

Danielle LaPorte — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 12:15:10 -0000

this is a great place to be in. I had a very similar revelation and letting go of expecting thanks created a lot more playfulness and freedom. That said, I think it's really great to be acknowledged for what important to you.

My man has just built a pond in our back garden. He toiled over the pond. He spent way too much money on the gear and gadgets for the pond. Every time he adds a new rock to it, he takes me out to see the pond. He LOVES the pond. So what better gift could I give him than to thank him for the pond? "Babe, thanks for making our backyard so cool." He glows when I love him up for ...the pond.

And when he notices how Zen and artful our lil' home is (which is NOT as important to him as the...pond) and thanks me for it...well...the grins go deep.

So maybe it's a reframe: don't thank me, but let me point out that this is sacred to me.

Re: What do you want to be thanked for?

Clare — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 12:09:04 -0000

Oh Kristin - thank you for articulating what I feel all the time, although I am somewhat ashamed of it. Like you, I always thank my husband for any little domestic contribution he makes, but whatever I do is considered a "given". I would love it if I received thanks, even just occasionally for all the mundane household tasks I maintain. Shallow, I know... but it is the little things that keep us going in life.