DISQUS

Joshua · 1 year ago

Sometimes when I get dressed in the morning and I decide to have a casual dress day, I envy the people who decided to dress up. When I decide to dress to impress I envy the people wearing hoodies : (
I think it has alot to do with being inspired for next time, as well as admiration.
My desire is to be confidant about my own judgement and at ease with my choices.

Guylaine · 1 year ago

Hum... very interesting Q & A today.. you're making me revisit the issue of envy... I felt very fortunate to be at a stage in my life where I'm very grateful about my life and where envy wasn't that much of an issue anymore... Never felt at ease with this emotion which seemed so negative, so petty and so useless... but seeing it in this new light : as the expression of one's deep still unnattained desire.. Yes, I still feel envious : I admire and envy artists whose boundless imagination touch us and make us dream; I admire and envy entrepreneurs who have built empires from scratch & have attained the freedom to be philantropists and do good. I also envy (whithout admiring though) anyone who has complete financial independance and never has to make any compromise for material reasons... My desire, my yearning, is to have the freedom and more importantly the courage to explore and exploit all of my abilities (some of them still unexplored) to their fullest extent and to see just how much I can accomplish (and feel accomplished as a human beeing). Thanks a lot for the insight...

Luc · 1 year ago

I envy the rich, the wealth and fortune. When I was younger, my family and I were very poor and the variety of food was not an option. « one day, i’ll be rich, i’ll eat any food i want, i’ll buy Nike shoes and white socks… » He he. June 13, 2008 “I’m so rich, yesterday I spend 4$ on a coffee” My desire is to be worry free financially. I went from envying peanut butter on my bread to a Lamborghini Gallardo… Orange with tinted windows and a Big sound system!

braziliana · 1 year ago

I envy women who has a beautiful man,who takes care her needs and desires, finacially and sexually.

Cat · 1 year ago

My world is quickly changing, falling apart around me. Most of my treasures are either packed or have been given away or sold in my recent house sale. My husband is a dreamer and an artist. His negativity is like a 300 pound wet blanket on my chest. He is a talented portrait painter and artist who now works at the post office, a result of his negative attitude towards people, and lack of drive to find gainful employment in his field. He is a talented painter, but cannot represent himself, ego plus his prices have made that go sour as well. I wish not to move, but may be losing my house and home. I am busily working on a large freelance project, sketching all day until my daughter arrives home, and all night till my eyes close. I keep a smile on for those I come across, but have retreated. I may be moving and renting and rebuilding my life in the weeks to come, and especially rediscovering the dormant strengths I have, settled deep inside of me, waiting to be drawn upon in times of need. I am frightened. I will have to reinvent myself, as a company I sent my resume to has shown much interest, and may hire me. I resent and am bitter that the weight of my family, and world will fall upon me. I am not sure I can do all of this with out the help of my husband working. I am at a crossroad in my life. I am 42, tired, and sad, I do not recognize the person I see in the mirror. I used to be beautiful, full of life, empowered, and especially very centered and calm...I am running on empty. I am filled with wishes and dreams, and my mind races at night, and puts me to sleep with the visualization of living in a home that I "own", florals and shabby chic decor, crystal chandeliers, friends, laughter, women's strength, and guidance around me... then I awake to my reality. I am about to embark on CHANGE. I envy women who know WHO they are, are in the PRESENT MOMENT,be it good OR bad, who can recapture where and who they were when they went off track to their TRUE purpose, I envy being REAL, being in the NOW, being FEARLESS, being totally and solidly in the knowledge of "I CAN do this, I WILL survive this, GOOD things will come to me, GLITTER will be sprinkled upon my head once again..." I wish only good things and many blessings. I will send love to you, please send love to me. Much love, Cat

Eva · 1 year ago

I seem to envy two things that I struggle to attain: financial freedom and peace of mind. They will both come in time; almost like falling into a wonderful bed and being wrapped in blankets of love and warmth. I just keep working at them and trying new pieces of the puzzle until I find the right combination.

Chantal · 1 year ago

I envy people with a free spirit. People who just know they are taken care of - no matter what. They trust in the universe, in the flow of life and totally believe in themselves. There is a quality of freedom they carry inside of themselves regardless of circumstances. My desire is for this deep connection to myself and others.

Kristin · 1 year ago

I envy women who have an intimate relationship with their husband. The type of relationship where he walks with her on a path (literally) or nudges her cheek just because he wanted to touch her or gives a kiss not because it is morning and he feels he must, but because he wants to.

Laura · 1 year ago

I also envy those with the financial means to not have to work. But the funny thing is, the desire beneath this is not the desire to not have to work but to have the affluence, freedom and ease to do more of the work I want to do!

L'Tanya · 1 year ago

I envy those who have the money to travel frequently. I used to travel quite a bit and miss it terribly. I often tell my children about the lessons you can learn immersed in a culture.

My deep desire beneath this envy is that I crave movement, yet I feel stuck -- stuck in a lack mentality. I do plan little trips I'm determined to take. I want my children to see that we can have fun without being wealthy.

Xai Vicente Charles · 1 year ago

I was taught that envy was negative and something to be avoided. I love the interpretation by Emmanuelle Kant. I'm going to use this.

I have always envied those who have financial security and complete self confidence. I know that if I had no financial worries I could do with my time. I could wake up in the morning and choose what creative thing I would get my hands into. More than anything it would afford me precious time with my family and loved ones. If I had more self confidence I would be unstoppable.

Guylaine · 1 year ago

Dear Cat...If you read again the answers to the previous "Q&A" "What has been your most significant beginning", you'll notice that many wonderful beginnings started when everything seemed to fall apart. Opportunities for growth are often disquised as setback... Best of luck

Xai Vicente Charles · 1 year ago

Cat,

Your words really touched me. I know how it feels to have a "300 pound wet blanket on your chest." Please remember to love yourself each and every day. Know that you are beautiful and strong. As you said so yourself, you can get through this. Take one step at a time and before you know it you will have reached the other side. The other side is beautiful...amazing.

Krystl · 1 year ago

ooh, i have this one, too. i actually can get angry walking behind a beautifully turned out woman on the way into my office, when I am in my battered little nike runabouts with a baggy shirt untucked over my skirt (which has invariably turned all the way around on my waist while i walked so it is on backwards), hair still wet and papers poking out of my nylon bag. not a good way to start a productive day! at least i don't get the opposite thing as much anymore. i have worked out my casual style pretty well - i rarely feel like i have tried too hard or just look wrong in casual situations. i guess my desire is to sort out my work wardrobe just as well, so that every piece of it makes me feel great. i need new walking-to-work shoes, and to buy some skirts that fit my waist. hey, this really helped me focus on what i need here...

SRead · 1 year ago

Ohhh Ya! Trust funds and wealthy mates would make so much possible. I especially envy people who take vacations ....total stress free vacations with no everyday concerns or worries!

Rushmi · 1 year ago

"after the depths of the deepest coldest winters, always comes spring and summer". Yeah, I know it's just words, but take the time to really feel the change and the possibilities. Focused Time + Passioante Action = your dreams.

Stacey · 1 year ago

I envy people who listen to their intuition, take that leap of faith and don't look back. I think very often we get lost in all the constraints the world puts on us that we forget to trust what our inner gut is telling us.

Stacey · 1 year ago

Cat, "It is always the darkest before the day." My best advice to you is to allow yourself to live it, feel it,and mourn your losses. Peel the banana and let the sorrow smash out! Then, you just put one foot in front of the other and try to keep moving. "Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway." (John Wayne). I truly believe that there is a reason and that there is meaning in the things that happen to us but time itself will choose the moment when we understand it all. You are a strong person and times like this come into our lives so that we learn how to fly. So fly my friend....fly.

Ngonzi Truth Crushshon · 1 year ago

I envy the rich & famous. I desire to be in the spotlight and to live the "Good Life". I want to be invited to all the A-list celebrity parties and events. I want to be in the news. I want famous designers to send me free perks...that I can more than afford to pay for w my own money. Answer me this....why do the rich get things free....while the poor have to spend their hardest earned dollar on the everyday necessities?

Why do we work our way to the top of the ladder....to do less "grunt/real" work.....but at the bottom is where we grind! Shouldn't it be vice versa.....

I wish I could be rich and famous so I could use my influence to change the world...similar to Oprah w the school for girls in Africa.

Cathy · 1 year ago

I envy women who have close relationships with their mothers. I feel envy when their mothers come to town and take over the management of the household. I envy the meals they make, the books they make for their grandchildren, the babysitting they do and the yardwork they do. The desires behind my envy are: to be nurtured, to have my wants and needs met without having to work hard for them, to surrender and know that someone is willing to totally step up, take over and let me just be. I desire to be understood and known. I desire for comfort.

Beth C. · 1 year ago

When friends of ours were going through infertility treatments, I found myself totally envious and grew angry and resentful toward my husband. When I examined my feelings, I realized that I was envious that her husband loved her so much to want to have a baby with her so badly that he would go through all of that with her. I am so envious because my reaction is to feel like my husband doesn't love me enough to want to even try to have a baby with me the regular old way, much less to go through the involved process of infertility treatment.

Heather Allard · 1 year ago

Though I don't consider myself a particularly envious person, I have spent the past year in a fairly serious financial struggle due to my business and have thus become envious of those who have "financial freedom". I don't necessarily envy the wealthy--just those who have enough money to pay their monthly bills, save a bit and not have to nickel & dime themselves to death over every latte purchase.

Fortunately, my prospects are looking up and I will soon be able to surrender this envy! :)

Emily · 1 year ago

For a long time I envied my younger sister who is only a year younger than me. She is outgoing, stylish, and athletic, while I am more introverted and eccentric. Although I was a strong athlete and did well in school, what I really wanted was to feel socially accpeted. She experienced many things that I really wanted - she had real boyfriends, went to the prom every year, and got to be the captain of the basketball team in my senior year (I had started for 3 years). In university I worked as an RA in residence and I finally found a place to call home, where people accepted each other with (and perhaps because) of all their quirks and uniqueness. I still haven't gone to a prom or had a real boyfriend, but I have celebrated life in other ways with some really special people :) And they like me just the way I am! I think I'm still working on that though...

Susie Hutchinson · 1 year ago

I envy people who are organized. Who have a place for everything in their home, and live without chaos. My desire is to live with what I use everyday, and nothing more

Tamara · 1 year ago

Dammit! Are you really going to make me go there? You are, aren't you? Going to make me stop ignoring and suppressing (and judging) my little pouch full of chartreuse envies. I'll have to take them out and look at their smug little frog faces, and deal with them. And do something about them. Because that's the thing: If you think of envy the way you've described it here--and if you do believe that everything we need is within our grasp--then the only response you can have to it is to get to work shaping your life to be more like the life you envy. So...(sigh)...off to work.

Tina Woodlee · 1 year ago

Since I am not especially eloquent, hang in there girl! It seems like you are a survivor and you have more support than you knew. I will keep you on my prayers.

colette · 1 year ago

My biggest envies are first - women with Masters, Doctorates or PhD's. I know this comes from the belief that I am not successful with out a college degree, nor am I worthy of admiration, success, etc. with out a college degree; second - women who's husband is supportive, kind and caring. Men who are like my father.

colette · 1 year ago

I love your sense of humor! They do ask the most pertinent impertinent questions!

Karryn Ransom · 1 year ago

Live it up, my friend. You can't take it with you!

Karryn Ransom · 1 year ago

Good point. Meaningful work is a blessing - affluence is a bonus!

Karryn Ransom · 1 year ago

You know, I don't envy the famous at all. I think it was Jackie Kennedy Onassis who said that her most prized possession was her privacy.
Besides, if I were famous, someone would invariably take a picture of me while I've got something hanging out of my nose and it would be all over the papers. I'd be torn about by critics. I rather like my peaceful ability to go about my business with nobody caring what I look like except me.
That being said, I'm with you on the affluence part. Why don't you be famous and I'll help you spend all your money! :)

Lisa · 1 year ago

I envy people who are talented musicians...pianists whose fingers fly across the keys with ease...sax players who bare their soul...a jazz trumpeter who make that horn sing.

Caitlin · 1 year ago

I envy those people who just KNOW what it is they want, what they were meant to do.

I have never had that kind of vision, and have always been very go-with-the flow. I have plenty of drive, but it is always unfocused. I desire purpose.

Tamara · 1 year ago

Have you ever looked at pictures of Presidential candidate Barack Obama with his wife Michelle? In the pictures, they always look just like you describe here--like they're on a path together. Like they want to touch each other. They always seem to be sharing a private moment even in a crowd of thousands. I envy that.

Cat · 1 year ago

Hi Xai,

I was shocked, and brought to tears when I read your note to me. Thank you. After I wrote about what is my desire under my envy and sent it out, I almost immediately regretted writing about my world and feelings. It did not occur to me that anyone even would take the time to read what I sent, since the first sentence went down hill from there, and stood out like a sore thumb from everyone's else's answers. But it was sent, and I panicked...

BUT, you do get what you ask of the Universe, because after I sent it, my thoughts backed by my sincerest emotions, I prayed for clarity, wise advise, care, divine women to reach out and know how alone I feel and to shelter me, if only for a moment to breath.

I did not know I was going to write this morning, I am certain you did not know that you were either. Thank you sincerely for your kind words. You have made a difference in my day Xai, thank you, Cat

Cat · 1 year ago

Dear Guylaine,

Thank you sincerely for your wisdom and advice. I am very grateful to you. Thank you for your well wishes, Cat

Cat · 1 year ago

Dear Rushmi,

Thank you for your kind hearted words, I am grateful to you. Happy journeys to you as well, Cat

Cat · 1 year ago

Dear Tina,

Your letter was especially difficult for me, thank you for your words, I WILL envision myself as a survivor. I did not know I had support, I felt very alone and afraid. You have really touched my heart with your words.
Thank you for taking the time from your day to write to me. You have no idea what a difference and power your words meant to me.

Blessings to you as well, Cat

Cat · 1 year ago

Dear Stacey,
I accidentally sent my note to Rushmi ~ I am crying so hard, I can't see.
I am crying out of feeling, I don't know the word, this is a bit out of my comfort zone. You all seem like such amazing women, I admire you all!
I usually stuff it all down, but I can't hold it in today, and all of you actually reaching out to me is almost too much, too overwhelming.
I am amazed and dazzled by you all, can't believe that you are out there, and actually took a moment to help me.
Sincerest gratitude, you are all so stellar and wise. Much love, Cat

Chuck · 1 year ago

How I feel for you, Cat! And I congratulate you on posting your true feelings and sharing your situation. I think the second half of your post shows you have your own answer to this dilemma. As far as being frightened, my thought is that since your are a self-proclaimed bottom, the changes that you are going to be making should not scare you too much, as status quo seems even scarier. I don't believe your next stage of your life can be any more negative than where you are now. You mentioned that you are at a crossroads. If I can suggest a related visual, think of your current situation as you are standing at a fork in the road...behind you is your present, ahead is your future, but your choice of roads will take you forward and both are positive. Don't look back. One of favorite quotes is, "You may be on the road to success, but if you stand still, you are going to get run over". Another one is from Michael Jordan, "I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." In this vein, don't fret that your life is not succeeding, it is just at one of those times that you will look back on and chalk up to experience. Good luck, Cat...let that "beautiful, full of life, empowered, and especially very centered and calm" person free!! Once you do, it will be others that are envying you!

Cat · 1 year ago

Dear Chuck,
My goodness, this is an amazing experience, I have never written in or exposed myself like this before. I am shocked, completely SHOCKED that anyone even read or decided to take the time to write to me. I am thankful for you all, where ever you are, whom ever you are, that you took a moment to send me words of care and advice.
Your crossroads visual was amazing, I never considered that...
Thank you from my heart, Cat

Kristin · 1 year ago

Cat, so many of us go through amazing hardships only to find that the hardship was the blessing. My husband started a business and the day after we finally opened, he found out he had liver disease. 9 months later we closed the business, because he was so sick. He got a liver transplant that same year, we moved from a home that we loved to a condo in the same city as the hospital, we couldn't sell our home for 9 months. We were two people, two houses, no income and a difficult recovery. My husband bought 3 one bedroom condos so we could rent them out to other transplant patients, because he was so grateful for the help we received - however, now we had 5 mortgages and no income and we had three condos to renovate and furnish.

Our home finally sold, as stated above, but we were waaaaay over extended, then we rented one of our condos, then we had all three rented. Those started bringing in money. My husband started delivering pizzas to help make ends meet.

We just went forward in faith that my husband would get better, that our rentals would be a success and we could help others. Now we are renovating a few more places and have an income, but it took us nearly three years. I wouldn't trade it for the world, but there were times when that black cloud was so heavy I thought I was doomed, but I always saw a light, even though it was faint.

Find your light. It's there. You can do this. You can make this the stepping stone to your next great day, week, month and year.

Kristin

Cat · 1 year ago

Dear Kristin,

I have so much to take in from today, it's almost too much, I am overwhelmed with gratitude, thank you. I feel very embarrassed, almost like a hill I cannot quite get over right now. I am just letting this wave of feeling pour out of me. I have had a thought to print out all of these wonderful letters to me and put them in a journal, and to begin writing about my journey ahead, and perhaps one day I can look back, like you and see where I was and how far, I hope, to be.
Blessings, I am grateful to you, your time & caring words, Cat

kerrymac · 1 year ago

I envy people who are completely at peace, living in the moment and completely fulfilled. They seem to have all the time in the world to do things they are passionate about. How? Maybe the money thing would help. I want to be like that.

Wayne Dyer, Eckhart Tolle, Deepak, Louise Hay - I want to know if they get stressed. Do they get bummed out by everyday life chores or do they do everything blissfully content?

I know a woman here who is soo at peace, and is a massage therapist, and Areyvedic (sp?) healer...I save up to get a treatment by here every few months...she heals me...shares wisdom and nurtures me with her amazing consciousness. I always leave wanting to be more like her! Feeling like a weird stalker now but it's true! www.snickerdoodles.typepad.com

Lisa D. · 1 year ago

I am envious of this next generation - they are so clever and savvy at such a young age (I know that comes at a cost) - I was so naive!!
Also, I am envious of my husband's love for our daughter. There are no words to describe it. It's a pure love - she can do no wrong and is on a pedestal. But ours is an honest love - the best kind - warts and all. I must be thankful.

JoeM · 1 year ago

I envy those who know the true answer to death; those who know the face of the creator; those who no longer have a need to reincarnate; those who have seen the other side of a universe; those who have lost the need for anger; and those who love me more than I can love them back.

Lindsey · 1 year ago

I envy women who seem confident all the time. I recognize it as the desire to conquer my fears, and battles with anxiety. Good thing is: recognition is the first step towards freedom.

Lisa D. · 1 year ago

Crazy and impossible as it seems, I'm learning to embrace my difficulties - a way for me to learn and soften my heart. Challenges and hardships create the beautiful character in us. We would never grown if we weren't stretched (and stretched and stretched!) Prayers for you...

Janet · 1 year ago

I envy those who have close relationships with their friends. My friendships are more distant. I'm liked and wished well, but I don't feel I can just call someone up when I need support. The friendship is more conditional and I'm on the periphery of my friends' friend lists. I'd love to have one or two people close to me that I could call up no matter why or when.

Frances · 1 year ago

Hey Cat;
The more time I spend with other people, the more I see that we are all dealing with similar things. Many of us feel we are not where we should be. The more you are able to share that with other people in a safe and sharing way, the more you can help each other feel less alone.

My advice is not to retreat from your friends, but trust that they can be a source of strength and practical support. I just spent the afternoon with 2 good friends and they give me what I need so I can do more. I couldn't do as much without the support of my friends and colleagues.

Change is scary, but necessary. Good Luck and know that my heart is with you.

Janet · 1 year ago

When I've been at my lowest points, I've had more than one person say to me that I'm probably about to go through a rebirth. That they can feel it.

I hope that is exactly what's about to happen to you -- all for the better. Best wishes and prayers from me to you.

Ellen · 1 year ago

I envy those who had parents who nurtured and taught them how to be viable, successful adults....those whose parents took them on college trips and helped them settle in to their new apartment, who helped them plan a future that would sustain and fulfill them.

Cat · 1 year ago

Dear Lisa,

I am touched and very moved by everyone's words today. I had absolutely no idea that there were so many kindhearted people, I feel a great sense of gratitude. It is hard to put into words the surprise and shock of the letters I received today. What gracious words, what uplifting words of encouragement. Just amazing. Safe journeys to you as well, blessings, Cat

Cat · 1 year ago

Dear Frances,
Thank you for your letter to me. I appreciate it greatly. I am not doing too well today. I have a lot of terrific advice and kind words sent to me today, had no idea or clue that there were such magnificent people out there. Feeling a bit frail, and tired, hoping so much for a better day tomorrow and restful sleep. Peace especially. Sincerest thanks for your kind hearted words and wisdom, my heart goes with you too, safe journeys, Cat

Cat · 1 year ago

Dear Janet,
Thank you for your letter. Not sure what you mean. Rebirth? I do not think I am that far along, disappointingly so. I am sorry. I am not negative, but, out of pep, overwhelmed, have no idea what is the best decision to make... I have received some awesome, inspiring e-mails today, from some of the most stellar people ~ it's the most surprising thing ever! Some real food for thought, I want to find out more about this rebirth that you speak of...

Sincere thanks for your kind words, Cat

Kristin · 1 year ago

I get that same feeling of my friends. I don't have anyone close at all & calling them in the middle of the night is not a reality. However, I could call my sisters or my mother and I am blessed for having those relationships.


I never thought of myself being on the periphery of a friend list, but that is exactly it. Thanks for the insight.

Carie · 1 year ago

People who put themselves first

Vicky · 1 year ago

Envy is a popular topic for women, and I associate it with jealousy. For some reason, it is so common for women to be competitive amongst eachother and "backstab" one another as a result of jealousy. As a result of my envious feelings towards certain individuals (usually friends or extended family), I will aleniate, dislike or even hate certain people, and these people are ususally women (especially the ones that brag or continuously speak about themselves and their successes) I am envious of their wealth (especially the ones who acquired wealth from their husbands), material possessions (fashion, cars), successful husbands/boyfriends, and careers. As a result, I buy things that I can't afford and have no true friends. I truly believe that I am a good person, but I am miserable when I see they have something that I don't. I believe the roots of this problem is insecurity, but I don't know how to fix it. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Romana Mirza · 1 year ago

the desire behind the envy was to be accepted and not judged. I've left that world, I don't live there anymore and yet I haven't physically moved. I am in a new world, envy doesn't live in this world. What lives in this world is deep gratitude. I strive to redirect the energy that envy consumed into deep compassion.

Lisa D · 1 year ago

Vicky - you already have amazing wisdom & honesty - maybe (as Romana Mirza mentions) gratitude would be helpful for you. It's hard to observe others and think, "I'm truly happy for all that they possess and have accomplished - good for them!" The piece of the pie that they have always looks better than ours! Jealousy/envy is a struggle for me, so I wish the best for you in your growth.

Jane · 1 year ago

I envy the "pretty ones" (I was not the pretty one in our family, that was my brother's job). To me that role represents confidence, acceptance and privelege.

Cindy · 1 year ago

I envy those who can still their minds

Vicky · 1 year ago

Thanks for our thoughts Lisa. Best wishes to you as well, I am trying to refocus my energy on things that matter the most such as my health and environmental matters, who cares if person X has the latest Chanel bag!! It won't happen overnight, however slowy but surely. All the best to you.

Stephanie · 1 year ago

I already knew my own answer to this question, but for some reason I quickly skimmed the other responses first, so see if there is a common thread, and I came across Cat's answer. I think that some people are motivated by an envy for something they have never experienced (like the trust fund thing) while others - like me, like Cat - envy people not so much for what they have, but for what we have lost.

Cat, it sounds like you lost your clarity and identity in a relationship but you have been forced to find them again, no matter how hard the process is. You envied the real person you saw within yourself - the one with the beautiful home and successful life and the girlfriends, and that thought at the end of the night could motivate you to get through the day.

Me... I envy 20 year old girls tearing around in convertibles - even if they aren't particularly pretty. I'm a supposedly beautiful housewife and mom who still works part time as a writer. But I'm 35 and I'm not where I wanted to be. My husband controls every detail of my existence and sometimes I feel like I am in (a nicely decorated) jail. When I was 20 and tearing around in a convertible with my friends, it felt like the whole world was waiting for me to shape it into whatever I wanted it to be. It turned out to be the other way around.

So, while I don't envy young women their youth or their beauty, I envy them their lack of experience and maybe even their naivete. Or maybe just their freedom.

bene · 1 year ago

Sadly, when I am jealous it is totally superficial! I envy how people look and dress and... Lightbulb moment... I envy people who are able to and dare to express them selves and who they are through what they wear! WOW! Coming to think of it, I am a bit jealous of artists as well, who are able to create for a living. I think that my envy all comes down to being creative and express that in some way! Thank you so much ! As the saying goes: Ask and you will receive !

bene · 1 year ago

Darling, I can relate to that! My brother is stunningly handsome and I was a bit jealous about that when I was younger. As I grew up I started to look beautiful as well, but I was not feeling any happier. My brother, whom I love to bits , is bipolar and has never come around to appreciate his good looks because he doesnt have any self-esteem. And to my surprise, he was actually jealous of me when we were kids, because I was artistically gifted. What I am saying is that being pretty is only half the job, being happy, enjoying life and being in touch with your feelings is what matters. Maybe you should talk with your brother, being pretty does not equal being happy! Communicate, be kind with yourself and love yourself for being unique! There is no one out there just like you! Remember that!

Lynda · 1 year ago

Wow! This question really hits close to home for me..I never thought about it in just this way...now that I have, I believe I envy those individuals who move to the next level because I too am a goal driven individual. My desire is to also be moving forward and if I'm standing still (and unfortunately right now I am) I become envious, you are so right it is a scream from your soul. Thanks for the question, it came at just the right time!

Lynda · 1 year ago

I agree with you..and understand what you are saying... I don't know if I actually envy this..but perhaps just wish I experienced this too.

Janet · 1 year ago

Emily neither of us went to "the prom", but that's a few hours of a life that has many upholding and inspiring rewards. Sex can be good or not, and is also short-lived. I try to see what I have that is good, differently than the "gratitude attitude", I try to see what value my partner has for me; if I didn't I'd be writing Cat's story above. It's unrewarding to compare or contrast oneself to another, especially as close as a sister. You can only live your own life, and I'll bet you're pretty good at that if you have eccentricity. It's likely if you let your aural memory speak that you will recall many persons saying literally awe-some and admiring things about you. try to not put persons, maybe like your sister (?), off a pedestal... you leave them nowhere to go but down.

Janet · 1 year ago

Let me correct my mis-type: Try to not put persons, ON a pedestal... you leave them nowhere to go but down.

Xai Vicente Charles · 1 year ago

Hi Cat,

Just checking in on you. I saw a little bird on my way to work this morning and thought about you. The little thing was trying to pick up a bug but couldn't do it at first. I watched him struggle but you know what? He made it. I wonder if he took it back to his family waiting on some tree or he found a quiet branch and feasted all by himself. In any case, he was victorious.

Have a beautiful day and keep on keeping on!

Xai

Cat · 1 year ago

Hi Xai!

Doing much better, I do believe I reached bottom, now going up again! After reading everyone's suggestions and advice, I am putting much effort into getting my emotions backing my thoughts, more positive. Not seeing this as the end of all ends, but as *(suggested to me) a new adventure, to reinvent myself. I stop myself when I get scared and stuck, and panicked and take baby steps and baby thoughts, because, I realized looking at the whole picture would overwhelm anyone! I am in a better mind set, and owning this experience. I have to say, that was a VERY, VERY bad morning and day. The people who extended their time and words to me have no notion of how they saved me. I am better, thank you, getting better everyday, though I am realistic that I have to go through this to come out of it. Embracing the journey, instead of being terrified.
Much love,
BIG HUG where ever you may be Xai! ~ Cat :) Shine on, right!?

Cecile · 1 year ago

Carrie says: I envy women who marry into money and who don’t have to work. My desire is to be taken care of with no financial concerns and do whatever I want. I’m a Worker Bee with a princess complex.

Danielle says: I envy trust fund babies. And puhlease, don’t tell me, “But you appreciate money more if you have to work for it.” I know that if I were born rich, I’d be incredibly appreciative and productive with it. My desire: affluence, freedom, ease. Which I already have plenty of in my life – and I certainly have it within my power to create more…so maybe my baby has his own trust fund someday.


Cecile says: AMEN to both comments!!