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there is a bedtime story I would finish.
there is a husband I would encourage to love again.
there is a daughter I would hold in my arms until I couldn't anymore.
thank you.
I would be sleeping on 750 thread count sheets, wear comfortable cotton in flattering colors, listening to my favourite music, smelling the roses and flowers, seeing my friends and family, holding hands with and embracing those I love, stroking my cats, looking out at my favorite view in the world to the hills and the trees and the sun and stars and moon out my very own window.
Let others plan my funeral. It all about them not about me.
One thing would change: I want my mouth and lips moistened with very good Champagne and I think I would have to buy that specially.
It is such a Karios (time out of time sacred time part of life). Ones death is such a teacher if I listen many things that seem unclear become so pure and clear. Our finiteness makes the life we live very important.
I hope I win one of your books. Shameless boldness: I would donate it to our hospice library
fly home
enjoy the light
put away my computer
be myself
That sounds glib, but I don't mean it that way. I would go out and find the most sensual, delightful experiences I could, and I would share them with people by writing about them.
I would visit Patti in Asheville, too, because her home has to be a place where laughter is welcome. Her family came to pick her up from the retreat she facilitated last weekend. That's a group who knows how to laugh, play the tuba, write about painting flag poles or fixing zippers, and say, "Hello, worldie!" when they first look out the window in the morning (that's a direct quote from Tess, the youngest member of the Ptak clan).
No one would be required to join me on my tour, but everyone would be welcome. I can see people dropping in for a couple of days and then going back to their own lives.
I have to guess that things would be going south as far as my stamina goes, so I can see spending the last week at home, watching my favorite movies, eating popcorn (and it would have real butter on it, damn it!), drinking whatever seemed appropriate at that moment, and cuddling with my wife.
Fun. That would be my one intention, my singular focus, my desire to be met those last five weeks. We all only get so much fun in our lives, and I am quite sure I am owed a fortnight's worth still. I'm not leaving without having gotten it!
I'd spend time with my family, my old roomates, my classmates in Greece and just recount stories of the past, lessons learned and appreciate everything.
Nothing complicated.
I'd also eat all the stuffing and cheesecake I could! :)
I would continue to do what I'm doing now - paying attention to my intuition and living from it, showing up to life and love, standing in my fear, acknowledging I'm afraid and doing 'it' anyway, telling the truth even when I'm terrified and letting go of the results. The first three are nearly easy for me now, but OH MY GOD the last one is still a daily challenge.
Re-connect with old friends.
Dance even if everyone is watching -- hip hop dancing.
Wake up with the sun everyday.
Make memory quilts, books, letters and tapes for my boys.
Travel to Africa.
Laugh, laugh, laugh -- until my face hurt and until I'd forgiven myself of the burdens I carry.
Carrie, your answer made me tingle all over and then tear up, which really makes me think you should just do it.
why does this question make me want to cry?!?
love you.
dani.
and my husband.
Laugh and cry
Organize the details.
Write letters,visit friends and family.
Eat drink and celebrate!
clean out all my clutter so my kids don't have to deal with it when I'm gone...
write love letters to my kids.
take my kids to Cozumel to scuba dive...
All things, of course, I ought to do already.
Spend as much time in nature and with my family.
Write. Write. Write.
Paint something beautiful for my husband.
Make a quilt and a video for my baby daughter.
Have a huge party for friends and family--just like our wedding two years ago, which was the best day of my life.
As for me, besides the Legacy Statement? Hug and kiss my husband, son, parents even more. Tell everyone why I love them. Eat dark chocolate and not worry about it going directly to my BEEhind. Write and play with abandon. Turn up the music. Thank God for all the blessings throughout my life. And be thankful I just got more life insurance for those I'll leave behind.
You should just make that documentary.
Love,
Danielle LaPorte
- I would swing on the local playgound like I did as a kid, seeing if I could actually get my feet to touch a cloud
- I would sing whenever the urge hit me, even if others were in earshot
- I would stop forcing myself to do workouts I don't like because I know I should
- I would record videos for each of my family members in which I tell them exactly how they rock, why I am fortunate to know them, and what gifts they've given me that I hope they continue to give others
- I would buy a giant trampoline, just like I've always wanted, and put it in my backyard and jump until it feels like I'm flying
- I would eat meals consisting of comfort foods and indulgences and never once consider guilt
- I would call up some friends with whom I'd lost touch to say hi, and thank you for all that you brought into my life at the times we were close
- I would eliminate the word "should" from my vocabulary
- I would toss my wristwatch and unplug or cover every clock in my house, and live entirely in the right-here-and-right-now
- I would be the genuine, authentic, ball of light and love and laughter I know I can be each and every day, but then stop myself from being it, because I'm afraid of what others might think.
One of my best friends died a few years ago at the age of 39 - he pretty much had about 60 days. He was quite self aware and loving - but the reality of his death was that he spent most of his last days in denial and very angry. In one of his more lucid moments, just before he died, he said to me "My Grandma gave me the best advice - she said 'Take lots of pictures, and make lots of memories' and I did." he said, "You should too..."
As with most of the others, I would spend time with loved ones, and write as much to my children, letters to be opened at significant stages/events of their lives so that they would know that my love is still present for them. I would really listen, so that that they would know how deeply loved they are, no matter where they are or how long since my passing. Make memories .
tell my mom she's beautiful
kiss my husband like he's never been kissed before
look for beauty
Yeah breath up all your creative joy and kiss him.
You have caught me out here. I don't have daily massages but if I only has 37 days to live I believe the budget could stretch to that
Like Mojo, I would cry and feel sorry for myself at first as I know my soon-to-be totally disenfranchised ego would need to have its say before it would turn me loose. Then, having felt the upliftment of clearing that stuff out of the pipes, I would be experiencing the Flow of Love more powerfully and freely and I would simply follow it wherever it took me.
I would surely let go of the inner bully dictator. How free might I be to fly without the encumbrance of all the residual shoulds and ought-tos, supposed-tos, have-tos, and even want-tos? I would like to think I would follow my Spirit without hesitation.
Garden as much as I could manage and if I couldnt just sit there l'd just sit there or lie there with my duvet wrapped around me.
Id visit the sea and watch it.
ld hug my family a lot and spend quiet time and practice contentment with them
Id swim
Id eat simple food
ld wear all of my clothes once so I could wear velvet for a day or two or my swimsuit for another, several days of long dresses and lots of gardening clothes days Then I'd give each of them away.
I'd Invite my friends and family to take what they want that I absolutely didnt need for those last days
Id breath as much fresh air, and sit in nature as long, as l could
Hold hands with my friends and anybdy else who wanted to
When my time comes, I won't have a "bucket list". I am living my bucket list today and everyday I am fortunate enough to awaken to another glorious experience!
Janice
I wuv Janiqua!
C.
Free. The. Snakes.
www.snickerdoodles.typepad.com
Genteel Dramatic indeed
Some days on honeymoon with my husband.
Some days in a lakeside cabin with my little family.
And I really love holidays, so I'd gather friends & extended family to celebrate one more of everything...Christmas, Easter, Valentines, Halloween, July 4th, Thanksgiving, and Birthdays.
This death stuff really gets me choked. I guess I need to go there.
Okay. I'm in. I've said it infront of thousands of people. I shall live more.
Here goes.
Then come back and rent a home on the beach where I could sit on the porch and see the ocean, feel the breeze and smell the saltwater, campfires. Have "until we meet again" visits from my friends and family and write my "best days" stories of time spent with my niece and nephew so they would know how much I loved them.
A true blessing isn't it? One of the events of today was I was able to encourage a new art student. She was discouraged that she didn't create a masterpiece in her first art workshop. Since she is also a nurse-- I asked her to consider to take the compassion, care, and concern she has for others...and for these 3 hours--- spend it all on herself.
Someone gave me that advice once and it stuck.
Today, I was very sweet to my husband which isn't always the case. (He was sweet to me so it was easy I have to admit.).
I called my mother. Called my adult son who lives alone -- sitting in my car at the Target parking lot until I felt he had his "mom fix." even though I was tired and wanted to get home for dinner.
Except for the Target folks-- I hugged everyone that I had a meaningful conversation with. That's not always the case of course-- it just happened that way.
For the other 36? I will try to do what a Priest friend of mine suggested I do after I complained to him about some supposed "troubles." He took me by the shoulders, looked me in the eye and said, "Dear One, please do not let your agendas get the best of you. Try to live so that after you leave a person's presence-- each person; let them feel refreshed."
A tall order indeed but worth the trouble.
if i had 37 days to live i would tell everyone in my life how rich they have made my life just by being a part of it...
if i had 37 days to live i would let my family sit with me and hold my hand...
if i had 37 days to live i would let my tears flow freely and feel no shame...
if i had 37 days to live i would laugh with deep gulping joy...
I'd be seeing those I love the most.
I would go home to Kansas and see my family. Go to New York and see the rest of my family. I would write my heart out, eat out with abandon, go to the ocean, spend time with my friends, laugh until I cried, and live wildly. I think I would also finally get a mascot costume (the kind that covers your entire body) and put it on and wear all day and cause lots of delicious trouble. Then, the next day, I would do the same without the costume.
Thank you for asking this question. Now, I am simply off to watch my beautiful boy sleep, then slip into bed with my sexy, warm husband and live as if there are only 37 days.
One thing is for sure, though. There's a bluebird in my heart, and for my last days, I'd want to let it out, and let it sing as much as it wanted. My soul is quite delicate, and so it does get locked away, but not this time. I'd have to forgive and forget everything that I don't want to carry with me for my final days and in the next life. I'd probably be cleansed and in tears. Still, the next 37 days I'm going to spend as though they're the last. People may not treat me in the same way, but I'm interested to see what choices I'll make and how much braver I'll become. Its only been a few hours and my life, it seems, is different.
I've recently put up white craft paper on my wall to write on and inspire myself. Every morning however, I wake up and facing me is this blank tapestry. Something crazy, something humongous, and something I want so desperately to be fabulous yet, I am completely intimidated to try to fill it with things of value because whatever seems of value now, may only be dust in the wind tomorrow.
If I knew I had only thirty seven days to live I don't know what I would do. Probably a lot of crying and a lot of thinking about and talking to the people I care about in my life. Sadly I think its exactly one of those moments that bring reality into focus. Bring us into the moment and truly recognize what we have got going for us. I would be infinitely sad and I would be infinitely optimistic for everyone else in my life.
I'd try to talk to them and instill in them some true joie de vivre.
It's only paper!
When I do go, I hope it's peaceful, with a book in my hand.
I would also have to include telling all those closest to me how much they mean to me, how they have influenced my life, as well as how much I admire each and everyone of them and why. I would have to get creative and make memory quilts for my children, as well as create videos that they could watch telling them all that I have learned in life, and giving them as much motherly advice that I could. Other than that, I would enjoy every day as much as possible, eating good food, dancing, spending time with those I love...I could go on and on!
Thanks for the great question, and I hope I win the book! :)
My last days are not for me - they are for the ones I love.
I would quit my job, which is a long-term project that cannot be finished in that short a time (it is not something anyone is waiting for to finish). I might write a document for someone to take over if they want.
Then, I would pick or make a personal gift for each of my friends and family and write them a note. Just kind words of encouragement and to tell them what they mean(t) to me. Actually, I do the gift picking thing on a regular basis, but do not include the notes. I'll start doing that.
Most likely, I'll first spend time in solitude for the gifts-and-notes, then go out en give them, saying goodbye and see you to all.
I should probably say something like spend more time with my kids, really listen to them, etc, etc, but I really already feel like I do that - so that wouldn't change in my last 37 days. Maybe I'd be nicer to my husband, though! :)
I would not just tell my family I loved them, I would show them by doing something for them.
Would I write a book of sayings that my mother/father said; family stories I've heard? I would if I had time and I would journal my feelings so my family would get to know me better. After writing this, I wonder why I haven't done it before!