Carrie and Danielle - Latest Comments in Misguided Attempts at Disciplining Other People’s Children

Re: Misguided Attempts at Disciplining Other People’s Children

MoJo — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 22:04:23 -0000

lol. It's so funny - my mother reminded me after she read this article that I used get really frustrated by kids misbehaving in public when I was younger. The incident above was probably some kind of karmic retribution for being less tolerant then! Still irks me when kids misbehave, especially my own. I just assume people are doing the best they can - that we all are...

Re: Misguided Attempts at Disciplining Other People’s Children

Kellye — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 18:05:47 -0000

I would get miffed if someone did this to my kid too, and given the context of the situation it doesn't seem like a warranted reaction, however...

I see SO MANY wild kids in public nowadays and it makes me grit my teeth to keep from acting similarly to that older gentleman (and I'm a 23 year-old hipster :P)... My mother would have *never* tolerated that kind of behavior when we were out and about, and I certainly won't tolerate it in my kids either. Maybe it's just the area I grew up in, but we still have a "kids should be seen and not heard" mentality down here in the South. (At least in formal situations, like meals and public outings.)

Sometimes I want to go up to that harried mother of three or four "free spirits" in Walmart whose kid is cussing them out, throwing a fit, or destroying something, and say, "I see you're having a bit of a problem controlling your children, and I would be more than happy to take that screaming one right over there and "straighten him up" for you..."

Re: Misguided Attempts at Disciplining Other People’s Children

FionaJane — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 11:39:50 -0000

Wow..... laughter has become disturbing people in public? I'm glad I don't live in your world.

Re: Misguided Attempts at Disciplining Other People’s Children

MoJo — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 12:09:15 -0000

I agree Carri - there are so many restaurants that just aren't appropriate for children. I guess that's why I was surprised by this occurance as we were at one that is known to be a 'family' place and actually puts crayons out on the tables! Just another example of how people bump into eachother - it can get crazy in busy urban spaces, in our fast paced lives. I think I was more surprised by the power of the protective response that arose in me...learning more every day!

Re: Misguided Attempts at Disciplining Other People’s Children

MoJo — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 12:01:26 -0000

My point was more that we, as adults, have learned to control ourselves and (hopefully) think before shouting at one another. Children inevitably need the time and space to learn how to behave, and can only do so by exposure to social situations. We were all children once, and most probably acted in a similar way at one point or another. We didn't beleive that the world should revolve around our child and table, but quite obviously the gentleman at the other table thought it revolved around him.

Re: Misguided Attempts at Disciplining Other People’s Children

Carri — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 22:23:40 -0000

Hmm - I'm young - not grumpy grandpa - and I have kids - and I completely agree. No one should be yelling - at anyone! Not acceptable.

And, I also agree that adults have the right to enjoy a peaceful meal with a table of friends without having to deal with a screaming child. Why ask a child into an adult environment and then be surprised when they annoy others? So unless the restaurant is family friendly, my advice is to a) hire a babysitter b) swap date nights with a friend c) go early (5 pm) and leave early before the majority of adults dine

Re: Misguided Attempts at Disciplining Other People’s Children

carolynn — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 19:17:51 -0000

Your daughter sounds very special indeed.

Re: Misguided Attempts at Disciplining Other People’s Children

givemeabreak — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 18:51:04 -0000

Why don't people recognize that he world does not revolve around their 'precious' children ?

No, everything they do is not cute. No, I am not amused by their misbehavior the way you seem to be.

If you can't keep your children from disturbing other people in public, people might speak up.

Get over it.

Re: Misguided Attempts at Disciplining Other People’s Children

FionaJane — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 17:47:13 -0000

I love that you had your daughter say bye bye....even if your intentions weren't entirely gracious, lol. I think that you taught her a valuable lesson in responding to negativity with human kindness. That's a lesson everyone should learn :)

Re: Misguided Attempts at Disciplining Other People’s Children

MoJo — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 16:36:29 -0000

Good question - the incident happened before we got our meals and luckily everything settled down and everyone concerned managed to finish our meals in peace. We had spoken to my daughter and made sure she was alright - even gave a few examples of why the man may have been so angry (feeling grumpy, hearing aid turned up to high). Since the anger had subsided, we felt it was a good way to show that we all got a bit upset, but that it had passed. Her bye-bye was a genuine one - another teaching moment from my little one...

Re: Misguided Attempts at Disciplining Other People’s Children

MoJo — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 16:30:37 -0000

Mighty words of wisdom - I was so shocked that my auto-reponse took over before I had a chance to rationalize. Next step - catch myself in the millisecond pause before the reaction comes ;-)

Re: Misguided Attempts at Disciplining Other People’s Children

MoJo — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 16:26:54 -0000

Thanks Pearl - it takes quite a bit to get me very angry and I was really surprised at how quickly I boiled over on this one. As my sister said, I was like a 'Mama lion who's cub was threatened'. I felt as ferocious, but luckily it quickly ended and we all still managed to enjoy our dinner!

Re: Misguided Attempts at Disciplining Other People’s Children

ND73 — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 16:12:19 -0000

I see it as a good life lesson... teach your child to respond to anger with kindness, and the world would be a better place.

Even if the sentiment wasn't entirely genuine, the Bible teaches that showing kindness to your enemies is like heaping burning coals on their heads.

Re: Misguided Attempts at Disciplining Other People’s Children

carolynn — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 15:17:26 -0000

Wow....I'm not even sure where to begin.....this brought up a lot of stuff for me.

I'm viewing this incident from your daughter's perspective and having flashbacks to moments in my home environment when my joy provoked chastisement. It taught me to proceed with caution at all times, moderate and stuff my emotions, and set me on the road to becoming a Patty Perfect who strived to do no wrong.

I'm pleased to say that at the age of 47, I've exorcised a lot of that crap and live my life with joy, passion, and authenticity. It was a long a road to here, though.

While I understand how indignant you felt, I do wonder why you felt compelled at the end of the evening to place your daughter in a position where she was the one being asked to deal with the perpetrator.

Re: Misguided Attempts at Disciplining Other People’s Children

Silvia — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 15:13:02 -0000

Oh wow, I don't have kids, but I've seen my little brother subjected to other adults' "disciplining" and oh boy, I probably would have pounced on them myself if my dad hadn't said something to them. It's funny that you mention the generational differences because the only time I've ever seen this happen is from distinctly older people. Ugh, it makes my blood boil. Thanks for posting about this.

Re: Misguided Attempts at Disciplining Other People’s Children

DanielleLaPorte — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 13:50:37 -0000

Total rage-inducer. One trick, Wayne Dyer talks about this one. Say to the meanies, "Are you having a bad day?" It says so much. It says, "you're acting like a jerk; unacceptable; and...I MIGHT possibly care." Totally throws 'em for a loop.

Re: Misguided Attempts at Disciplining Other People’s Children

pearl_mattenson — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 12:51:46 -0000

Wow- this brings me right back to those days when my kids were young. This is so REAL life. My pulse actually started to race after I got through your first paragraph. A kind of let me at 'em solidarity that I so relate to...