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I'm viewing this incident from your daughter's perspective and having flashbacks to moments in my home environment when my joy provoked chastisement. It taught me to proceed with caution at all times, moderate and stuff my emotions, and set me on the road to becoming a Patty Perfect who strived to do no wrong.
I'm pleased to say that at the age of 47, I've exorcised a lot of that crap and live my life with joy, passion, and authenticity. It was a long a road to here, though.
While I understand how indignant you felt, I do wonder why you felt compelled at the end of the evening to place your daughter in a position where she was the one being asked to deal with the perpetrator.
Even if the sentiment wasn't entirely genuine, the Bible teaches that showing kindness to your enemies is like heaping burning coals on their heads.
No, everything they do is not cute. No, I am not amused by their misbehavior the way you seem to be.
If you can't keep your children from disturbing other people in public, people might speak up.
Get over it.
And, I also agree that adults have the right to enjoy a peaceful meal with a table of friends without having to deal with a screaming child. Why ask a child into an adult environment and then be surprised when they annoy others? So unless the restaurant is family friendly, my advice is to a) hire a babysitter b) swap date nights with a friend c) go early (5 pm) and leave early before the majority of adults dine
I see SO MANY wild kids in public nowadays and it makes me grit my teeth to keep from acting similarly to that older gentleman (and I'm a 23 year-old hipster :P)... My mother would have *never* tolerated that kind of behavior when we were out and about, and I certainly won't tolerate it in my kids either. Maybe it's just the area I grew up in, but we still have a "kids should be seen and not heard" mentality down here in the South. (At least in formal situations, like meals and public outings.)
Sometimes I want to go up to that harried mother of three or four "free spirits" in Walmart whose kid is cussing them out, throwing a fit, or destroying something, and say, "I see you're having a bit of a problem controlling your children, and I would be more than happy to take that screaming one right over there and "straighten him up" for you..."