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If my boyfriend is around, I like snuggling with him for a bit.
Naps also help me calm down too.
Seriously, I try to find something that will make me laugh my ass off, I have a Robin Williams DVD that is vaguely narcotic-like when it comes to stress. I also try to remind myself that there have been worse things than (fill in stressful situation here) and just get on with my life.
It's so easy to get caught up in your own little problems and forget about the big picture. I work on this everyday but find it very difficult to keep that with me. I have to continually remind myself.
One call to my sister and life seems to have a better perspective - she prays with me right there on the line...
...and of course a chick flick with a huge popcorn - extra butter.
Meditation comes into play when 3:00 am comes along and the stress bug hits.
I return to my spirituality to cope with stress, big or small. Although I do admit that sitting down to a Fred Astaire/Ginger Rogers movie with a glass of red wine does wonders.
My not-so-best way of coping with stress is food. When I am stressed I am RAVEONOUS.
My sweetheart suggested another way of coping this morning - that I spin off another personality, like my clients do!
I'd like to find one of those goddess groups!~
I find that pushing myself to exercise, get enough sleep and eat well becomes imperative and kind of second nature when I'm stressed.
Fresh air and sun (or at least daylight) always helps...as does a walk in Stanley park...
or the seawall...getting to the beach even in winter...there's something about the ocean that's very medatative and calming.
Sometimes that's all I can do! I like that. I like that line a lot.
Taking care of little details - such as staying on top of personal grooming like waxing and tweezing, and then housework (which is just grooming projected on to my surroundings) makes me feel like I have accomplished something small but significant. Every day, I do 15 minutes of decluttering and detail cleaning. This is meditative and contributes to the overall peacefulness of my home.
Not freaking out about small things (like getting cut off when I'm driving; sales girls being rude to me) ensures that my stress level is generally low for when The Big One hits.
The Big One hit recently, and there was no way to plan for it, I just reacted. Afterward, I had some time to myself. And I thought of the story about the young prince who wanted words engraved on a ring - words which would keep him magnanimous in victory but persistent in defeat. Someone (maybe the Buddha? it's a Buddhist story, anyway) gave him the words IT WILL PASS.
The other story I thought of was the Chinese one about the foolish farmer who goes to console his neighbor, a wise farmer whose horses had run away. The wise farmer smiles and says "who knows what is good or bad?" The horses return, bringing a beautiful mare. The fool congratulates him on his marvelous luck. The wise farmer says "who knows what is good or bad?" The wise man's son breaks his leg learning to ride the mare, and the foolish neighbor comes over to console them; the wise man says, "who knows what is good or bad?" The army comes through the village, taking all the young men to fight in a war, but the wise man's son is spared because of his broken leg. The story goes on and on.
If I am not in a position to drop everything and find fun music and girlie stuff I make a schedule in my head of the time I will spend unwinding alone over the weekend or later that night. It's important to not let it bottle up.
After that, stress turns from being a burden to a task that I can handle no problem.
I love that line, too.
If I'm silly and just begin to feel stressed, I will discover myself vacuuming....then I know that I need to go out for a walk!
KWL
I simply shut down and no amount of acknowleding it while it's happening seems to shake me out of it. I'll go about trying to do productive things that while nice are not immediately important . Frenzied cleaning and implementing new systems of organizational control are usually what I do to attempt to get a handle on the chaos and lift my mental and emotional paralysis, but often it just feeds the despair.
The one thing that seems to make a real difference is writing. It is only when I get honest on the page with how lousy I am feeling and what is going on in my life, that I seem to be able to understand what is happening to me and make an action plan to start over again. It is as if writing in my journal wipes my brain clean and I can pick up where I left off.
(I guess for me, most of my stress comes from denying that the stress is there.)
Then I do any of the following: talk to a girlfriend, make art, eat chocolate, write, clean and organize things around the house, cry, take a bath, blast music that suits my mood, nap, drink (wine or scotch, not beer).
I always feel less stressed after a Nia class, but when the stress beats me to it I struggle to find the motivation to actually get my body there.
If none of that works, then a good cry helps too.
When I can't do that, or it's not enough, then I have to question my stressful thoughts. "The Work" is what works for me. Byron Katie's work is so incredibly valuable it has taken me to a whole new place of acceptance and softness with regard to what life doles out.
I believe that there are some people for whom meditation is a healthy addition to their lives, but that if they don't do it, they find other ways to ground and center. For others of us, it is an absolute requirement. I fall into the second category. I also usually call a friend or family member, and when all else fails, I simply go for a walk to the nearest park and lie on the earth, preferably near a big tree. I often suspect that my stress level would diminish greatly if I moved from city to country, as I hope to in the future. Nothing makes me feel more at peace than being in nature.
it can be many things, but the changing of my attitude and feelings are fundemental in taking responsibilty for these stressors