DISQUS

Carrie and Danielle: How to Get Over a Bad Birthing Experience

  • DanielleLaPorte · 1 year ago
  • Storyeller · 1 year ago
    Thank you for this article, Keris. I haven't heard anyone talk about this, quite this way. My first birth was glorious my second birth, traumatic. I agree with you, counselling has been very important...and I've found yoga has helped me ease the bad memories out of my body, the pain and grief that is stored in my tissues. Bless you as you bring life into this world!
  • Keris · 1 year ago
    Thanks, Storyeller. I haven't been able to do yoga this pregnancy because I've had SPD, but I'm looking forward to getting back to it once my son's born. Thanks for your good wishes.
  • Antonia · 1 year ago
    You might be interested in Lucy Jolin's new book, about Coping with Birth Trauma.
    http://www.amazon.co.uk/Coping-Birth-Trauma-Pos... . I spoke to her when she was writing it and her experiences seemed to mirror my own, and what you write about here. I'm nervous about feeling totally disempowered again in a strange delivery suite.
  • VimesFan · 1 year ago
    Reading this has left me with tears of anger and frustration rolling down my face. I hadn't realised how lucky I and my friends have been with our birth experiences, as despite several dramas and trips to Neo-natal Intensive care we have never had anything but caring, professional support from our nursing and medical staff in Cambridge and Leeds.
    I'm blown away by Keris's bravery in seeking counselling, confronting her fears, and challenging her previous experience and can only wish her a much less traumatic birth in 2009.
  • diane · 1 year ago
    At least you're more prepared this time, and it sounds like you have a muchbetter midwife! A friend of mine has a 9 year gap between kids, I suspect in part due to a horrible first birth (she was hooked up to a drip the entire time). I really think the Journey can help with this type of memory (EFT too) but the main thing is finding out what made you feel so bad and getting it "out there" inside of internalising it. You seem to have moved forward and I can only cross my fingers for a much better experience for you this time round. x
  • Keris · 1 year ago
    Thank you for all your lovely comments. It means a lot to me.

    And I'll check out that book, Antonia.
  • maz · 1 year ago
    I'm so sorry I didn't read this before! It's awful that the first time has to be a 'learning curve'. Just because the professional people helping with deliveries have seen it all a hundred times before doesn't mean they can't treat mothers with the great respect and care they all deserve. I was in Oz when I had my baby and I felt as if I was nothing but a big nuisance to the consultant (10pm on a Saturday night) - even though we were paying through the nose for their services. I just wish I'd had the strength to tell them what I wanted but of course I wasn't really in any state and was too naive before the event. The midwife attending was pregnant herself and was wonderful but I felt that was only because she was totally in tune with my state. We all may live and learn but what if you never have another child? I know you'll be fine with Joe! xx
  • Keris · 1 year ago
    Thanks, Maz. That's one thing I've found with many of the midwives (and heard the same from talking to a lot of other mothers) - while they're wonderful, it's just a job to them and they seem to have lost all appreciation of how scary and alienating it is to go through it for the first time.
  • MoJo · 1 year ago
    Keris, thanks so much for this. My first (and only) birth of my daughter was a rough one, and only after two years of doctors and surgeries for her did I stop to realize that I was in survival mode the whole time. I recently went through a similar process of finally 'dealing with' the experience. That said, I'm still not brave enough to do it again! Kudos to you - and thanks for sharing...