Carrie and Danielle - Latest Comments in How do you make yourself open to others?

Re: How do you make yourself open to others?

Suzyn — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 15:20:13 -0000

I've been following Christine Kane's Word of the Year concept, and I think my word for 2009 will be Open. I have trouble being open, because I don't feel in control. I'll let you know how it goes!

Re: How do you make yourself open to others?

Alison — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 22:00:57 -0000

This is the key to it all, I think. Self-doubt and self-criticism are at the core of my lack-luster communication. (Ouch.)

Re: How do you make yourself open to others?

Alison — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 21:53:37 -0000

Oh, my, ME TOO! I talk a lot more when I'm nervous. Its terrible how that works, isn't it? I say a lot of ridiculous things where there would otherwise be comfortable silence. I need to work on that.

Its strange, but just from reading this post, I feel as though we might have a lot in common, Bridget... I can be extremely judgmental and critical of others, but it usually comes from a state of self-criticism. Its like you know all my secrets!

Re: How do you make yourself open to others?

Alison — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 21:49:47 -0000

Argh! Good question. I need to think about this one... I'm terrible at this. I can't believe how these questions always seem to find me at a good time.

Re: How do you make yourself open to others?

Bridget — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 20:55:29 -0000

I am open to everyone and anyone when I am not in a judgemental mode. That usually comes from a place of feeling very grateful for what I have. And amazing things happen when I stop talking, which is sometimes difficult when I am uncomfortable.

Re: How do you make yourself open to others?

Traci — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 18:59:16 -0000

Just...TRY, I guess. This one's harder for me than I think even I realize. Sad. Great ideas here, though, and it gives me hope!

Re: How do you make yourself open to others?

Isabelle Vonturi — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 18:35:41 -0000

forget about myself and be completely present; I call this being charismatic. its a way of being engaged with another human being without any thought of getting anywhere or judging anything.

transparent spirit moments where possibility lives

Isabelle
Sophisticated Lustrous

Re: How do you make yourself open to others?

DanielleLaPorte — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 17:34:13 -0000

I've just begun to appreciate the temple-ness of my body. She's got all I need for the courage to stay open.

Re: How do you make yourself open to others?

aceofsomething — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 17:26:09 -0000

Once I learned to love my own flaws I started being able to not only love people in spite of their flaws but because of them. I think that reads on my face and in my energy when I meet people.

Re: How do you make yourself open to others?

alligator_kate — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 16:21:43 -0000

My practice, which is Sufi, and of the body. The more open I am to myself, the more space I have to be open to others. I listen to my body, to her stories. I used to have dreams where I was at the feet of wise women, trying to listen, but I couldn't stop talking.... and talking. I love to talk, but after I do my movement meditation practice I feel quiet and often in love, too.

Re: How do you make yourself open to others?

Constance — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 14:56:37 -0000

I live in a very reserved city and I ride the bus. I tend to smile and say a few words to those I don't know except by sight. When it comes to those I'm closer too, I pick up the phone, and sometimes, I don't . Sometimes, I find, being open to others means keeping quiet for awhile.

Re: How do you make yourself open to others?

Susie Hutchinson — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 13:44:50 -0000

By being available whenever I'm needed

Re: How do you make yourself open to others?

marn — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 12:18:46 -0000

I am open to others by:
1) Participating fully in everything I say I am going to do.
2) I commit (and when I mean commit, I mean both feet in 100% until the end).
3) I also tell the truth by showing up 100% of who I am. When I do this I am telling the truth of who I am. I am ok that some people in life are 'rejecting' the real me, I accept it (not everyone in life is going to like me - that's the truth). If I am carrying on a facade that I am someone I am not and they reject the 'fake' me, then I really don't know where I stand with this person, or where this person stands with me (in the end they may have actually embraced the real me!). When I show up & open up I am giving the world the greatest gift I can give.... myself. And I really believe that.

Re: How do you make yourself open to others?

Uncle Beefy — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 11:46:15 -0000

I hadn't thought of "open" from this perspective Cristina. But SO true! I try to be helpful (part of my nature...and my job) and it can be amazing the walls that are immediately removed. Love to perform a random act of kindness from time to time...this reminds me that maybe that time is now. Thanks! :)

Re: How do you make yourself open to others?

Uncle Beefy — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 11:42:05 -0000

WELL said, Pearl! Here, here!

Re: How do you make yourself open to others?

Uncle Beefy — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 11:39:33 -0000

This is a though provoker... like C & D, I would likely cite "listening". Sometimes I am at peaceful ease with this and then other times find myself getting caught up in my own thoughts and anticipating a response or preparing to prove myself somehow. It can be the sense of "emptiness" and "vulnerability" that may prompt the closing...sometimes willing to push against it other times succumb to it. Like everything in life... a process.

Re: How do you make yourself open to others?

Linda Fitzgerald — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 11:38:08 -0000

Both Carrie and Danielle have expressed it succinctly. I particularly resonate with Carrie's observation regarding her 'need' to tell her story when she 'feels less than the person' she's engaged in conversation with. I've always considered myself a really, good listener but when I read that, I recognized myself.... thanks.

Re: How do you make yourself open to others?

Ellen — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 11:24:55 -0000

I have this gift quite naturally. It is why I am a therapist. I bond with the person on a very deep level and almost become them. It has been a challenge to me to stay myself while being with others. I have to turn my "receiver" off sometimes when I am in crowds.

Re: How do you make yourself open to others?

CristinaCC — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 10:44:45 -0000

An extremely difficult thing for me and I think for many of us, my best strategy is to try to be of service. I strive to offer my help to others, including total strangers. Simple details like helping a stranger load her groceries in the car or making dinner for friend & her family who just had a new baby. You would be surprised how unexpected & unsolicited assistance, helps breaks down a lot of barriers.

Re: How do you make yourself open to others?

Kerry L — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 10:16:21 -0000

It's work for me --- it's easier to stay "closed" and open the door just a little bit when I want something from another. To deliberately open myself up, I tell myself that God has a gift for me in another person and my preconceived ideas of what that gift is are worthless. I must show up and actively listen as I hunt for the treasure.

Re: How do you make yourself open to others?

Shannon — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 08:45:01 -0000

Wonderful ideas about listening and being open, from C, D & Rebecca. I am good at listening and always improving on my active listening skills. Sharing my thoughts and ideas come easy to me. My challenge is to be more open physically.

Re: How do you make yourself open to others?

Colette — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 08:28:16 -0000

Being open comes naturally for me. People say I just look like some one they can talk to. Most of the time I am smiling. Time can be an issue when I've got much to accomplish and some one has a need and they come to me. If I can not be the one to immediately "be at hand" then I assist the person to come up with the names of others. I have found that even when my time is interrupted with the needs of others, if I stop what I am doing, take time for that person - and be of service with genuine love and concern, something magical happens with my time that day. I get everything accomplished with time to spare. I have noticed that it is the people who always say "I haven't got time for (you fill in the blank)" who seem to never have enough hours in a day.

Re: How do you make yourself open to others?

Jess — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 08:08:29 -0000

Rebecca's words about reminding herself that she's a human being resonate with me. Often I feel I am apologizing for being or feeling a certain way - ie: if I'm grumpy from a stressful week, or just tired...I need to be more open with my feelings because ppl will love me anyway :)

Re: How do you make yourself open to others?

pearl_mattenson — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 07:39:00 -0000

First let me say I fail at this a lot. And it i such an important question. I think the key for me has been to stay CURIOUS. Never assume I know . Always respect the mystery of another human being. When I start filling my head with my own thoughts and beleifs about others, I know I am losing the battle and need to get curious again.