Carrie and Danielle - Latest Comments in A Better Way for Divorced Families to Share the Holidays

Re: A Better Way for Divorced Families to Share the Holidays

Emily Green(Love DVD) — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 02:48:06 -0000

I would rather suggest to spend whole day together with father and mother though they've divorced.Al least on that day,children will have a whole family.

Re: A Better Way for Divorced Families to Share the Holidays

JulieG — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 18:29:22 -0000

My parents divorced when I was 6, and I don't remember it. (Thankfully.) Since then, my brother and I have alternated homes for the holidays each year. So, for example, if we spent first seder (for Passover) with my mom one year, the next year we'd have first seder with Dad. If we had Rosh Hashana with Dad one year, it would be with Mom the next. I don't think we ever spent a full year's worth of holidays with only one parents, but it sort of shifted back and forth throughout the year. It was a "good enough" solution for a situation where I don't think there are any ideal solutions.

Incidentally, it's even harder now that I've got a boyfriend who's also Jewish: do we spend holiday celebrations with my mom, my dad, or *his* parents? Oi gevalt!

Re: A Better Way for Divorced Families to Share the Holidays

Cynthia — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 14:24:22 -0000

I would add--if a divorce is reasonably amicable and children are small, consider including both parents in the same celebration. Tensions (if they aren't too great to begin with) can be diffused by having more extended family on hand. This won't work for everyone, but for some families it can be a relief and a generous setting aside of differences for the children's comfort and joy.

Re: A Better Way for Divorced Families to Share the Holidays

Silvia — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 13:51:10 -0000

Thanks so much for posting this. I come from a divorced family myself, and so I remember one particular Thanksgiving where we actually ate two Thanksgiving dinners in one night (one at my mom's and one at my dad's). Needless to say we didn't repeat that experience again. Christmas was supposed to be easier because we had two days (Christmas Eve and Christmas Day) to spend with our parents, and yet it was still tough because they each wanted Christmas Eve. Overall, I love the holiday season and I really don't care which days are spent with who, I just wish everybody else shared my perspective.